Last night my son came out of his room crying hystericaly. I asked him whats wrong, he choked out,
I wrapped my blanket around my neck and pulled really hard” - I’m really scared - my son wants to die and I can’t fix it. I can’t chase his demons away. I talk to him and hug him and kiss him, let him know how much he is loved every day. But, he has this pain inside him that won’t go away. Normal every day challenges affect him differently. He takes little hurts and holds them inside until they are a festering wound that is hard to heal. So at 9 years old he’s going to therapy to try to help him discover a way to get through a day without saying “I hate myself, I want to die.”
Why are our kids in so much pain? Since my sons problems began last year, I have been researching kids, suicide, depression - It’s terrifying reading some of the teen sites on the internet, so many kids in so much pain. I wonder if this problem is bigger now than it has ever been. Here are some “sad teen poems” I found online - I wonder if their parents know, are these kids getting help? All of these poems come from this website, Poetry America
A Cut
By Tara M. Mccardy
There is a lot of violence,
As i sit and suffer in silence.
One cut leads to many more,
And soon my skin becomes all torn.
I watch my blood drip-
Then I put my hand to my lip,
Just to make sure I don’t scream-
Wondering if this is all just a dream.
But I realize it’s not,
As this battle inside is fought.
This pain is so real,
And as sad as I feel,
I wish my heart would just heal.
But it won’t…
Just too many damn times it’s been broke.
So the consequence is this,
And that is…
The cut of my wrist.
Suicide
By Renee L. Bacon
Life is never good for me and this is what I wish you’d see.
Just let me end it all for I’ll be happy in the end, I’ll finally be free.
Free from all the pain and torment and the never ending battle.
No more dealing with the arguments and tears, I’d finally be through with it all.
You just don’t seem to understand that by keeping me here your making it worse.
If I were dead and gone by now I’d be happy, I wouldn’t have this life, I wouldn’t have the curse.
I’m already considering doing this even without your consent.
I know for sure that once its all over with my heart will finally be content.
So here I am just sitting there, on my bed with a knife to my wrist.
Please everyone don’t be upset, please don’t be pissed.
You just need to know I love you all but couldn’t handle it anymore.
Ok here I go, I’m doing this for sure.
You just need to let me go to heaven now, hopefully God will understand and accept this.
Just tell my baby I love him and I’m sorry I couldn’t give him one last kiss.
Tell everyone I love them and that I’m sorry I had to go so soon and leave them all behind.
But I just needed to end it all and start a new life so happiness I could find.
These are the last words I’ll ever be writing down.
I know they are harsh but don’t worry, rest your head, be at ease, don’t make a sound.
Know that I love you and always have but I need to think of me right now and so I said goodbye.
Be happy without me and know that I’m somewhere good, somewhere up high.
I just hope your not crying, I want you to know everything will be ok.
I’ll be watching over you and listening to what you have to say.
Just have patience, wait till the day, and I’ll see you up here in heaven and we can be together.
Except this time things will be better and you’ll see me happy, always and forever.
So stop your weeping and know this was the best thing for me
It was my time to go, your time to set me free.
Suicide
By Pam Kizior
SUICIDE
This thought comes almost everyday,
We have become close friends as we were one in the same.
Then soon enough it will be the end I cry almost every minute
So much pain, so much hurt
My feelings and memories are like a hurricane.
I’m alone, scared during this storm and as the tears run down my face .
Seems like there is no way in stopping the intolerable emotions, pain, and frustration that the world puts upon my shoulders.
I hear no birds singing their joyful songs or the laughter of young children being able to enjoy life without a care.
It just seems like death has been and will be around me anyway.
So no matter what you try say,
Suicide is the only way out for me.
It’s been way to long since someone has held me tight and said that they love me and that they need me.
It’s been to long since I have had someone to protect me,
But you have never been able to see
In reality what has been happening inside of me.
You may ask and look concerned wanting to know why I cry,
But do you really want to that I wish for me to die?
Can you handle the truth,
Can you handle the pain I have felt and dealt with by myself for many years?
When I see myself in the mirror,
I can’t see the joy I once felt.
That joy has been taken away since I can remember
I just turn my head as quick as possible for I do not want see what I’m actually trying to hide.
Suicide?
The quickest way to solve my problems once I’m gone
But will they really be solved or will they become a burden to those I still love but don’t love me?
Time is the only one who can really tell us.
In the end will you miss me after I have cried my last tears?
