Teen Suicide Talk

Teen suicide is becoming more common every year in South America. In fact, only car accidents and homicides (murders) kill more people between the ages of 18 and 30, making suicide the third leading cause of death in teens and overall in youths ages 14 to 22 years old.

Thinking About Suicide It’s common for teens to think about death to some degree. Teens’ thinking capabilities have matured in a way that allows them to think more deeply - about their existence in the world, the meaning of life, and other profound questions and ideas. Unlike kids, teens realize that death is permanent. They may begin to consider spiritual or philosophical questions such as what happens after people die. To some, death, and even suicide, may seem poetic (consider Romeo and Juliet, for example). To others, death may seem frightening or be a source of worry. For many, death is mysterious and beyond our human experience and understanding.

Thinking about suicide goes beyond normal ideas teens may have about death and life. Wishing to be dead, thinking about suicide, or feeling helpless and hopeless about how to solve life’s problems are signs that a teen may be at risk - and in need of help and support. Beyond thoughts of suicide, actually making a plan or carrying out a suicide attempt is even more serious.

What makes some teens begin to think about suicide - and even worse, to plan or do something with the intention of ending their own lives? One of the biggest factors is depression. Suicide attempts are usually made when a person is seriously depressed or upset. A teen who is feeling suicidal may see no other way out of problems, no other escape from emotional pain, or no other way to communicate their desperate unhappiness.

The Link Between Depression and Suicide
The majority of suicide attempts and suicide deaths happen among teens with depression. Consider these statistics about teen suicide and teen depression: about 1% of all teens attempts suicide and about 1% of those suicide attempts results in death (that means about 1 in 10,000 teens dies from suicide). But for adolescents who have depressive illnesses, the rates of suicidal thinking and behavior are much higher. Most teens who have depression think about suicide, and between 15% and 30% of teens with serious depression who think about suicide go on to make a suicide attempt.

Keep in mind that most of the time for most teens depression is a passing mood. The sadness, loneliness, grief, and disappointment we all feel at times are normal reactions to some of the struggles of life. With the right support, some resilience, an inner belief that there will be a brighter day, and decent coping skills, most teens can get through the depressed mood that happens occasionally when life throws them a curve ball.

But sometimes depression doesn’t lift after a few hours or a few days. Instead it lasts, and it can seem too heavy to bear. When someone has a depressed or sad mood that is intense and lingers almost all day, almost every day for 2 weeks or more, it may be a sign that the person has developed major depression. Major depression, sometimes called clinical depression, is beyond a passing depressed mood - it is the term mental health professionals use for depression that has become an illness in need of treatment. Another form of serious depression is called bipolar disorder, which includes extreme low moods (major depression) as well as extreme high moods (these are called manic episodes).

Though children can experience depression, too, teens are much more vulnerable to major depression and bipolar illness. Hormones and sleep cycles, which both change dramatically during adolescence, have an effect on mood and may partly explain why teens (especially girls) are particularly prone to depression. Believe it or not, as many as 20% of all teens have had depression that’s this severe at some point. The good news is that depression is treatable - most teens get better with the right help.

It’s not hard to see why serious depression and suicide are connected. Serious depression (with both major depression and bipolar illness) involves a long-lasting sad mood that doesn’t let up, and a loss of pleasure in things you once enjoyed. It also involves thoughts about death, negative thoughts about oneself, a sense of worthlessness, a sense of hopelessness that things could get better, low energy, and noticeable changes in appetite or sleep.

Depression also distorts a person’s viewpoint, allowing them to focus only on their failures and disappointments and to exaggerate these negative things. Depressed thinking can convince someone there is nothing to live for. The loss of pleasure that is part of depression can seem like further evidence that there’s nothing good about the present. The hopelessness can make it seem like there will be nothing good in the future; helplessness can make it seem like there’s nothing you can do to change things for the better. And the low energy that is part of depression can make every problem (even small ones) seem like too much to handle.

When major depression lifts because a person gets the proper therapy or treatment, this distorted thinking is cleared and they can find pleasure, energy, and hope again. But while someone is seriously depressed, suicidal thinking is a real concern. When teens are depressed, they often don’t realize that the hopelessness they feel can be relieved and that hurt and despair can be healed.

What Else Puts Teens at Risk for Suicide?
In addition to depression, there are other emotional conditions that can put teens at greater risk for suicide - for example, girls and guys with conduct disorder are at higher risk. This may be partly because teens with conduct disorder have problems with aggression and may be more likely than other teens to act in aggressive or impulsive ways to hurt themselves when they are depressed or under great stress. The fact that many teens with conduct disorder also have depression may partly explain this, too. Having both serious depression and conduct disorder increases a teen’s risk for suicide.

Substance abuse problems also put teens at risk for suicidal thinking and behavior. Alcohol and some drugs have depressive effects on the brain. Misuse of these substances can bring on serious depression, especially in teens prone to depression because of their biology, family history, or other life stressors.

Besides depressive effects, alcohol and drugs alter a person’s judgement. They interfere with the ability to assess risk, make good choices, and think of solutions to problems. Many suicide attempts occur when a teen is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Teens with substance abuse problems often have serious depression or intense life stresses, too, further increasing their risk.

Life Stress and Suicidal Behavior
Let’s face it - being a teen is not easy for anyone. There are many new social, academic, and personal pressures. And for teens who have additional problems to deal with, life can feel even more difficult. Some teens have been physically or sexually abused, have witnessed one parent abusing another at home, or live with lots of arguing and conflict at home. Others witness violence in their neighborhoods. Many teens have parents who divorce, and others may have a parent with a drug or alcohol addiction.

Some teens are struggling with concerns about sexuality and relationships, wondering if their feelings and attractions are normal, if they will be loved and accepted, or if their changing bodies are developing normally. Others struggle with body image and eating problems, finding it impossible to reach a perfect ideal, and therefore having trouble feeling good about themselves. Some teens have learning problems or attention problems that make it hard for them to succeed in school. They may feel disappointed in themselves or feel they are a disappointment to others.

All these things can affect mood and cause some people to feel depressed or to turn to alcohol or drugs for a false sense of soothing. Without the necessary coping skills or support, these social stresses can increase the risk of serious depression and, therefore, of suicidal ideas and behavior. Teens who have had a recent loss or crisis or who had a family member who committed suicide may be especially vulnerable to suicidal thinking and behavior themselves.

Guns and Suicide Risk
Finally, having access to guns is extremely risky for any teen who has any of the other risk factors. Depression, anger, impulsivity, life stress, substance abuse, feelings of alienation or loneliness - all these factors can place a teen at major risk for suicidal thoughts and behavior. Availability of guns along with one or more of these risk factors is a deadly equation. Many teen lives could be saved by making sure those who are at risk don’t have access to guns.

Different Types of Suicidal Behaviors
Teen girls attempt suicide far more often (about nine times more often) than teen guys, but guys are about four times more likely to succeed when they try to kill themselves. This is because teen guys tend to use more deadly methods, like guns or hanging. Girls who try to hurt or kill themselves tend to use overdoses of medications or cutting. More than 60% of teen suicide deaths happen with a gun. But suicide deaths can and do occur with pills and other harmful substances and methods.

Sometimes a depressed person plans a suicide in advance. Many times, though, suicide attempts are not planned in advance, but happen impulsively, in a moment of feeling desperately upset. Sometimes a situation like a breakup, a big fight with a parent, an unintended pregnancy, being harmed by abuse or rape, being outed by someone else, or being victimized in any way can cause a teen to feel desperately upset. In situations such as these, teens may fear humiliation, rejection, social isolation, or some terrible consequence they think they can’t handle. If a terrible situation feels too overwhelming, a teen may feel that there is no way out of the bad feeling or the consequences of the situation. Suicide attempts can occur under conditions like this because, in desperation, some teens - at least for the moment - see no other way out and they impulsively act against themselves.

Sometimes teens who feel or act suicidal mean to die and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes a suicide attempt is a way to express the deep emotional pain they’re feeling in hopes that someone will get the message they are trying to communicate.

Even though a teen who makes a suicide attempt may not actually want or intend to die, it is impossible to know whether an overdose or other harmful action they may take will actually result in death or cause a serious and lasting illness that was never intended. Using a suicide attempt to get someone’s attention or love or to punish someone for hurt they’ve caused is never a good idea. People usually don’t really get the message, and it often backfires on the teen. It’s better to learn other ways to get what you need and deserve from people. There are always people who will value, respect, and love you - sure, sometimes it takes time to find them - but it is important to value, respect, and love yourself, too.

Unfortunately, teens who attempt suicide as an answer to problems tend to try it more than once. Though some depressed teens may first attempt suicide around age 13 or 14, suicide attempts are highest during middle adolescence. Then by about age 17 or 18, the rate of teen suicide attempts lowers dramatically. This may be because with maturity, teens have learned to tolerate sad or upset moods, have learned how to get support they need and deserve, and have developed better coping skills to deal with disappointment or other difficulties.

Info provided to Teensuicidetalk.com from ”

Depto. Ciencias Forenses, Cat. de Medicina Legal
Facultad de Medicina, U.B.A.”

Is it possible for children less than 13 years old to have clinical depression?  It wasn’t too long ago that doctors, and even parents, thought otherwise.  As doctors and research scientists in the mental fields learn more about the way people think, as well as increasing their knowledge of medicine, it is now known that children under 13 can have depression as severely as teens or adults. Long term depression in young children appears to happen in about 5% of children according to researchers.   Depression can result from long term illness, a loss, low self-esteem, anxiety disorders and attention deficit problems.  It is important to take note of any changes in your young child’s behavior in order to determine depression. Some signs of depression in children under 13 might be:

Frequent sadness or crying
Feeling guilt a lot or low self esteem
Hopelessness
Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Irritability or anger
Talk of suicide
Very poor concentration
Wanting to be alone, if previously they played with many friends
Causing trouble at school 

Having one or two of these symptoms on occasion does not mean your child under 13 has severe depression.  Severe depression is when a child may have several of these symptoms continuing for weeks.

Children under 13, who are suffering from severe depression, can even have thoughts of committing suicide and actually do it, despite their young age.  Professional depression treatment is important for children suffering severe affects of the disease.  Most parents prefer to stay away from prescription for their kids under 13 if possible, and it is only recommended as a last resort, and only in severe cases.

There are some natural homeopathic medications to try, for mild depression.  Sometimes merely paying more attention to your child and displaying more love is all the natural medicine that is needed.   In addition to that you can try the natural herbs Passiflora and St John’s Wort.  There are some combinations of these herbs on the market specifically for kids.  You will have to determine if your child has a mild case of depression or severe depression based on your observations or your medical doctor’s observation. 

A decent method of treatment will usually encompass family and individual therapy for children under 13 suffering from mild to severe depression.  Two popular types of individual therapy for children are:

Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT)
Focuses on individual events such as bereavement or conflict that may be the cause of continuing depression.  Children are taught to work through the specific issues causing the depression.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events.  Children are taught to take a more positive view of life and their surroundings.

For severe depression in children under 13, a combination of the above behavioral therapies plus antidepressant medicationsometimes is warranted.  There has been some caution in giving depression medications to young children since it sometimes increases thoughts of suicide.  Children less than 13 years of age who may need the combination of prescription drugs and behavioral therapy are those that may have reoccurring depression symptoms, bipolar disorder, don’t have access to therapy for some reason or they have very severe symptoms that require immediate correction. 

Believing in children and knowing that depression can exist in children less than 13 is important.  Mild to severe depression is usually treatable and your child will be able to end therapy or medications at some point and live happily from then on.

Mark D. Jordan is a researcher and writer interested in how depression affects people and society. He recommends a good source of depression information at Types of Depression

When teens become suicidal we often wonder why - where did this come from?  How can they possibly want to end their life at such a young age.  Sadly, in some instances we don’t wonder why we understand why.  Abusive parents should be drawn and quartered - hung up on a fence for all to see, with a big sign telling of their crime.  Bullies, that’s all they are.  Hateful, unhappy, ignorant, assholes that take out there anger on someone smaller than themselves.  My husband tells stories of the beatings he received as a child.  His father would hit him with anything that was near - a bat, a vacuum - it makes me nauseous to think of this.  I hurt for the little boy he was.  His father created scars that 30 years, lots of therapy, heroin and alcohol addiction have not been able to erase.  Why do such miserable people even want to have kids?  This story made me cry:

It is impossible to say when the initial realisation set in. It is probably something in the subconscious that alerts the senses. But as soon as self awareness manifested itself, the realisation that life with his mother was all about pain and terror took hold of a child. By age seven, he saw his older siblings experience savage beatings, numerous injuries, and mind numbing fear. The line between peaceful days, and terrifying bursts of violence was a paper thin one, but no-one ever knew what would push her one way of the other. One moment a child would be playing in the garden, the next that child would be on the receiving end of a merciless thrashing. With a 2 x 4 inch thick stick, a fan belt, a big leather belt. Anything that would cause terrible screaming, and even more terrible injuries. No-one will ever know why and how her mood would alter so drastically and so often. On these occasions, the effect on all the other children could never be measured in simple terms. To hear your sibling crying and begging in fear, even before the first blow had been struck was bad enough. Add to that the sound of the whacks themselves on bare flesh, the child screaming, while above it all, her voice could be heard. Her voice, rising in volume and pitch, blaming, cursing, venting her anger, and galvanising her strength as she delivered each punishing blow. She only ever stopped when her arms began to get tired. It is an unforgettable feeling. The knowledge that a terrible beating is iminent. All the crying, apologies, begging, and pleading cannot stop it. An adult, a strong healthy fully grown human being is about to swing a solid piece of wood onto the bare backside of a child. And she will do so with all her strength. For as long as that strength allows. After being struck once, for a seven year old, the pain is absolutely unbearable. Imagine being held down in place, feeling completely helpless as the blows continue, and having to withstand another, after another, after another. Even the memories are painful. Children in this situation often show psychological frailty. Nervousness, wide eyed faces, haunted stares. Perhaps bedwetting, speech defects, or petty crimes. All of which, of course, will lead to further and more severe punishment. Children in this situation always show injuries, bruising, and scars. But they are tough, these children. They hide the cuts and weals from their friends, their teachers, and anyone else who can help. They hide them because they are actually protecting the very person who continues the terror. Children are tough indeed, but still so vulnerable. It is usually quite easy for a knowledgeable adult to spot abused children. They are happy at school, but with very few friends. They are intelligent but do not take part in class discussions. They wear more clothes than necessary, or than is healthy. And their eyes give them away at all times. School photographs are extremely revealing. The question still remains today. Why? Why would any parent want to willingly hurt and terrorise their own child? Why? Is it for control? Is it lack of patience? Is it just sheer wicked nastiness? Whatever the reason, parents need to be aware that the person they want to hurt depends on them for everthing. Food, water, clothing, a home, love, humour, warmth, and humanity. Children have no place to run to, and no knowldege of the world outside. Their spirits are sometimes broken, but in cases where there is mental toughness, anger and hate towards a parent might fuel a child’s rebellious streak. Parents would do well to remember that in time, these children grow up, the scars will heal, the bruises will disappear and broken bones will mend. The knowledge of how they were mistreated and the experience of it cannot be erased. There is no excuse. In the mind of a child, a parent is everything. When your everything beats, blames, hurts, and terrorises for no apparent reason, children try harder. They try to please, they try to do as they are told, they try not to annoy the parent. The trouble is that they do not know exactly what will upset that parent. It could be anything on any given day. It could be a frown at the wrong time, in the wrong place. It could be the way someone spoke, the way they walked, what was said, or what was not said. Maybe the temperature of a drink was too hot too cold, maybe the sun cast a shadow on the wrong part of the TV. Whatever it was, even if a child was directly involved, the culprit is still only a child. Children do have one thing to cling to, which is hope. Hope that one day, the pain and suffering will be totally behind them. Time does heal, to an extent. That does not help the child somewhere in the world today, who is now six, and about to start a a journey through many years of emotional and physical torment. Even many years later, these memories are hard to cope with. The nightmares have never stopped. The emotional scars have never really healed. Relationships and displays of affection do not come easily. Thoughts of a tough childhood are present every single day. But look at what can be achieved by the single mindedness of a victim. A brilliant education. A life of sport. A child who looks set to follow in his father’s footsteps. And because his father’s early life was so traumatic, and the memories still so vivid, the child has never known any physical punishment, and now never will. He will never go through the hell that was his father’s upbringing. The effects of that time manifest themselves in many ways, and will continue to do so. While the Christian and politically correct action is to forgive and forget, all abused children struggle with those two words. Forgiveness is possible, but highly unlikely. Forget? Never. “

Author:  Sandy Francis

I’ll never forget my first panic attack.  I was sitting in my high school English class, I was 17.  It’s hard to explain the feeling that came over me.  I felt dizzy, suffocated.  My heart was racing - I thought I was dying.  I had a death grip on my desk, waiting to pass out.  Of course I didn’t pass out or die, but little did I know that this was the first day of a 15 year fight with OCD anxiety disorder.  Boy, I wish I knew that this WAS a disorder.  After numerous visits to doctors I just thought I was nuts.  There was so much I was afraid of.

This was a huge part of my life, for a long time.  The worst part of what I went through is I thought I was crazy, I had absolutely no idea that anyone ever dealt with anything like this.  I felt totally alone.  Here’s a little glimpse of that life.  For years I was terrified of driving.  When I got behind the wheel of a car the terror would begin.  I couldn’t handle driving fast, interstates terrified me.  I hated traffic.  I had to be in the right hand lane so I could pull over at any second.  And, forget about bridges.  I remember one morning driving to work.  There was a short bridge, maybe a quarter of a mile long, I had to go over.  If I came up on that bridge and the traffic was bad I would turn around and go back home.  I couldn’t swallow food in a restaurant I always felt like I was choking.  I was afraid of going to church, I had to sit in the last row on the outside so I could escape, there is NO WAY I could sit in the middle of a pew.  My first job was on the seventh floor of a building in Crystal City, VA.  Right outside the window was Reagan International Airport, I spent five years terrified that I would die from a plane flying into our building.  I worked for the Government and used to have to take the Metro from Crystal City to the Pentagon a few times a week, I just knew I would be blown up, caught in the middle of a terrorist act.  The whole poisoned Tylenol scare happened at this same time and really had a negative impact on me.  I remember eating yogurt for lunch every day at work.  I would open the container and scoop out the top half - thinking, if someone put poison it I would be alright.  I was scared, of everything.  I kept it all to myself.   I never read an article, saw a commercial or website that dealt with this issue.  How different my life would be if I had known that this was a huge problem with such a large number of people.  About 3 years into my anxiety disorder, when I was still “hoping” to find out that there was something physically wrong with me -  I actually wanted a Dr to tell me I had a tumor, it would mean I wasn’t nuts - a neurologist gave me a medicine called Fiorocet.  OMG, it was amazing.  When I took this medicine the choking, suffocating feeling I had every day was gone.  It was a miracle.  I was cured.  The only problem was as soon as I stopped taking it that feeling came back.  So for the next 15 years I made sure that I didn’t run out of this medicine.  I ended up doing anything to make sure I had it.  I went to different Drs (even slept with a couple) I had to have this medicine or I couldn’t do anything.  I ended up being a convicted felon for “Dr shopping”, I lost custody of my son, after 10 years of this I quit my job I couldn’t handle working anymore.  I’ve been married three times, spent thousands of dollars and hurt SO many people - this is a horrible condition.  I wish somehow, someone (ME) could have seen what was happening, but I hid it well.  I hope someone will read this and get help.  There are tons of books, websites, and support groups.

This article lists several symptoms -

“Times are tough right now; we are in the grips of a global economic crisis. You may have lost your job and certainly someone you know has lost a job. You may know people who have lost their homes, are struggling with bills or are otherwise underwater. It´s hard not to get overwhelmed when the problems around us are so daunting. It´s hard to understand what billions or trillions of dollars mean!

In these tough times, more and more people are struggling with anxiety and panic. There are so many more stressors active in our daily lives now, so many more worries at the forefront of our minds. Finding any respite from these thoughts can be difficult. But perhaps even more difficult is identifying whether you are suffering from severe anxiety or panic or run of the mill worry.

Here is a list of symptoms to be wary of. These are signs that you are struggling with a serious problem that is now disrupting your life, the very definition of a disorder.

1. Sudden, intense feelings of fear or doom
2. Sweating
3. Racing heart
4. Shaking
5. Muscle tightness or aching muscles
6. impatience
7. irritability
8. trouble breathing, hyperventilating
9. feelings of dizziness or wobbliness
10. eye twitch, clenched jaws, teeth grinding
11. fear of dying
12. fear of going crazy or being institutionalized
13. chills, fever
14. loss of feeling in hands or feet
15. avoidance of places, people or things
16. problems concentrating
17. excessive worry about loved ones or your own health

If you experience four or more of these symptoms for a prolonged period of time then you are probably struggling with excessive anxiety. This doesn´t make you a weak or terrible person, simply human, with feelings. Anxiety often strikes young people, in their late teens to early 30´s. However, in today´s stressful world, more and more older people are struggling with the onset of severe anxiety.

People who may have been susceptible to anxiety for years are suddenly experiencing the triggers necessary to unveil their anxiety or panic problems. While this is certainly upsetting and it may seem likes it´s cropping up out of the blue, the good news is that there are ways to deal with this problem.
“Exercise, finding outlets for your worry and methods of relaxation are all positive life changes that can affect your feelings. You can also work on training your mind to view things from a more positive perspective. It´s important to deal with this problem because it can often lead to depression and avoidance of activities and loved ones.

Problems can escalate to the point where you are afraid of driving in your car or worried about going to work or picking up your daughter from school. Identify your problem early and start to make changes quickly. Your body and mind will appreciate it!”

Download your free eBook “Stop Panic Attacks and Deal with Your Anxious Thoughts” here: FREE REPORT STOP PANIC ATTACKS - From Bertil Hjert – The author of the Panic Goodbye Program. Read more about my brand new course at my website http://www.panicgoodbye.com

I remember when I got drunk for the first time.  I was in 9th grade and my neighbor who was two years older than me invited me to spend the night.  Her parents were out and a few other friends came over to hang out.  One of them had some alcohol.  I tried some - I liked it - Thus began a 2 year binge drinking spree.  I used to steal whiskey from my parents, pour it in a jar and take it to school with me - for 2 years I was drunk more than I was sober.  I can’t really say why I did it.  I was painfully shy and drinking made everything easier.  But it also made me do things that I never would have done if I hadn’t been drinking.  I had sex for the first time during this period.  I tried drugs (pot, coke, speed) during this time.  I’m scared now because I have kids and drinking is such an easy way for them to deal with insecurities.  

My plan is to be very open with my kids.  I’ll share my experiences with them.  I want them to know that they can talk to me about ANYTHING - Along with my personal experiences I’ve found a few good articles to share with them about  binge drinking.  I knew nothing at all about drugs or drinking except what I learned from other kids.  My parents never, ever talked about any of this with me.  Maybe they didn’t know any better.  Knowledge is power.  Maybe it wouldn’t have stopped me, but. . . . .who knows?

What is Binge Drinking? Amy Otis, RN

Binge drinking is defined as “the consumption of five or more drinks in a row on at least one occasion.” In national surveys (in the United States) about a third of high school seniors and 45 percent of college students reported at least one occasion of binge drinking within the previous 2 weeks.

In March of 2004, the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse reported that, “More than five million high schoolers binge drink at least once a month. As a Floridian who lives near one of the ‘Spring Break’ hot spots, this comes as no great shock. I guess there are a lot of parents out there who are surprised by these numbers and yet, what were they doing in college or when the drinking age was 18? How do you expect your kid to “just say no”, when you said yes not that long ago? Talk to your teenagers and be honest with them.

While some national surveys have documented a significant decline in the use of other drugs by high school seniors and college-age youths, there have been only small declines in the numbers reporting binge drinking. Teenagers and young adults drink alcoholic beverages at about the same rates they did 5 years ago. Binge drinking increases the risk for alcohol-related injury, especially for young people, who often combine alcohol with other high risk activities, such as impaired driving. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the four leading injury-related causes of death among youths under the age of 20 are motor vehicle crashes, homicides, suicides, and drowning. Alcohol is involved in many of these deaths.

Sexual encounters with their risks of exposure, as well as date rape and other violence, can and do occur more frequently while students are consuming large amounts of alcohol by binge drinking

Binge drinking, or the partying lifestyle of young people may be related to an environment that appears to support heavy drinking. Teenagers report that alcohol is more easily available to them today than it was 5 years ago, and there is a high correlation between availability and use. In addition, alcoholic beverages remain inexpensive in comparison with other beverages, especially beer when purchased in kegs, often the center of a college party or even a teenage party.

A factor that may add to the college setting as a high-risk environment for binge drinking is that youths on college campuses are targets of heavy marketing of alcoholic beverages. Beer companies are especially active in promoting to college students. Student newspapers and campus bulletin boards boast ads for happy hours with price reductions and other incentives that promote heavy drinking. Representatives of the alcohol industry, including producers, wholesalers, and retailers, sponsor campus social, sporting, and cultural events, even on campuses where the majority of participants are under the age of 21. If you are age 21 and over — drink responsibly, but you already know that.

Prevention Strategies

Prevention strategies in response to binge drinking by young people include actions to reduce alcohol availability, such as increases in price, and responsible beverage service practices, especially at parties. Some communities require keg tagging, which requires kegs to be labeled with a serial number identifying the purchaser in case the keg is discovered at an underage drinking party. Other strategies include restrictions on marketing and promotion practices that glamorize heavy drinking, especially those directed at young people.

If you were told the party you are going to WILL have a keg (or a couple of them), or that there will be a bartender there and mixed drinks and you are under the legal drinking age, you might want to consider going somewhere else that night. Think about the risks before you go. If you are of age, please designate a driver to drive that night. That person should NOT drink at all. It just might save a life. Thanks!

Dumb-Reasons-To-Drink, Ken Chisholm

Dumb reasons? You decide…

Drinking makes you feel together even when you are totally out of control. That’s why you’re more likely to fall or have some other kind of accident when you are drunk.
Drinking makes you feel cool when you’re really acting like a jerk. Next time your friends get together to drink, stay sober and just observe. Chances are you will see how silly and idiotic they look.
Drinking can make you lose your memory. It can be very embarrassing to have someone else tell you how funny you were last night, especially if you don’t remember what you did or said that was so funny.
Drinking takes away inhibitions. You may get relaxed enough to do or say things they you’ll later regret. Sometimes this can result in an unwanted pregnancy, an STD or insulting a friend.
Hangovers: If you really want to spend a day throwing up with a throbbing headache, here is your chance–get really drunk.
Drinking makes you feel grown-up. What is so great about this? Very often adults are drinking to forget that they are adults with all the responsibilities that they have. In other words, they are trying to feel like children again! Imitating childish adults shouldn’t make you feel like an adult.
Drinking to forget your problems. Trust us, your problems will still be there when you sober up.
Drinking to be accepted by friends. You have heard it called “peer pressure.” Friendships that are based on drinking don’t last too long. These friendships fall apart for the same reason that drinking gets boring–it is just the same thing over and over again. Those are not true friends and those relationships have nowhere to go. When you build friendships around common interests, sports or another activity, your relationships can grow. This is a much stronger basis for friendship than sharing a six-pack.
Drinking because you’re curious about alcohol. There really is no great mystery to it. After a while drinking will lose its thrill. That’s why so many teenagers develop drinking problems. When drinking starts to lose its thrill, they need more alcohol to enjoy themselves, and they often lose their ability to find pleasure in other ways. Before long, they have lost their chance to do well in school, lost their health and the trust of the friends and family. (Trying to watch your calories? Booze is loaded with empty calories.)

End of lecture. Decide for yourself, and drink responsibly!

One last thing to keep in mind: Teenagers are the largest source of transplant organs in the United States. This means that more teens die suddenly in accidents than any other members of the population. Why is that? Think about it. Drink responsibly.

I have spent a lot of time in teen forums lately and notice a disturbing trend, so many kids are “cutting” today as a way of dealing with inner pain and turmoil.  Cutting has become a huge problem. You probably know someone who cuts.  Cutting has become a fad with its own genre of emo music (popular songs such as “Candy Coated Razorblade” and “Razorblade Kiss”) and its own celebrity spokespeople, but it is dangerous and addictive for those who start. “The first cut is a result of a large insult or catastrophe, and the second cut takes less provocation. The third cut takes even less, and the next thing you know you are cutting because you anticipate having a bad day, and after that they cut because they are at a low point in [their] mood cycle, and then finally they cut because its been too long since the last cut,” said a leading researcher on cutting, Steven Levenkron, in a WebMD interview.

Do you know someone who curs? What can you do to help? Should you talk about it or will it make this person think about it more?” These questions probably run through your mind if you find out a friend is a self abuser - a cutter and a burner. You start to feel responsible every time you find new scars on her arms. If you know that someone is abusing themselves, it can be confusing or even terrifying. Just like when someone is addicted to drugs, it takes more and more to get high; well, sometimes people start cutting deeper. This can be fatal. Sometimes you don’t even know if someone was trying to commit suicide or not…they are just found. Other medical concerns such as infection are also very serious, and cutters will have to live with the scars for the rest of their life.  Sometimes cutting just doesn’t seem serious. Some people cut to look cool, to see how much pain they can handle, or show someone else that they have problems. Some cut to get attention. Cutting used to be limited mostly to survivors of incest (warped families), and victims of rape or severe child abuse/neglect. Now, it seems like everyone cuts for any number of reasons. A friend of mine once said, “I’ve known so many cutters, it doesn’t even bother me any more”. When I see someone who cuts, it’s the same as when I see someone who smokes cigarettes; I know it’s bad for them, but it’s their choice. Instead of coping with their emotions, teens create sites on the Internet with titles like “Razor Blade Kisses” and “Professional Cutter.” In the past ten years the percentage of self-abusers has more than tripled, though it’s hard to determine exactly how many are hurting inside and how many are doing it because they have nothing better to do.

Self-abusers usually fall into two categories.   The first are those who show. They are proud of their scars, and are seeking attention and acceptance through self mutilation. They may be punk, emo, or goth, but they generally hang around others who cut, in a sort of sad competition to see who has the worst life. The second category is the hiders. They hide their scars under long sleeves or try to explain them away. The most common excuse for scars is “the cat got me.” They have some sort of emotion that they cannot deal with so they take it out on their skin. They are most at risk for being addicted to cutting for the rest of their lives.

Cutting is Very Scary and Very Real . When did it become normal and how bad can it get?  Is this happening more often or are we just more aware because of teens access to the internet and their ability to talk about “cutting” anonymously?  What can we do to help?

I wonder if we can keep calling this phenomenon teen suicide.  It seems kids with depression and suicidal thoughts are getting younger and younger.  Whatever the age please take it seriously.  I know it would be easy to think that this is just a phase your child is going through but would you really want to look back and wish you had done something?

The symptoms of suicidal thinking are similar to those of depression. Become aware of the following red flags that can signal that your teenager may be contemplating suicide:

Noticeable change in his or her eating or sleeping habits,

Withdrawal from friends, family members or routine activities,

Aggressive or violent behavior, rebelliousness, running away or threats to do so,

Drug or alcohol use that is illegal, abusive or interferes with your kids functioning,

Your teens unusual neglect of his or her personal appearance; poor grooming,

A personality change that is seriously detrimental,

Manifestations of persistent boredom, concentration problems or a marked deterioration in the quality of his or her schoolwork,

Frequent complaints about stress-based physical symptoms, including stomachaches, headaches, backaches, or fatigue.

A troubling withdrawal from pleasurable activities,

Your teens angry and persistent dismissal of your praise or rewards.

If your teenager is contemplating suicide he or she may also:

Complain to you about being a bad person or about feeling guilty or rotten inside,

Provide verbal hints, such as: I won’t be a pain for you much longer, Nothing really matters anyway, Nothing helps, Nothing is important etc.

If you notice he or she putting his or her affairs in order, for example, giving away favorite possessions or throwing away important belongings, or,

Your teens becoming suddenly cheerful for no apparent reason after a period of depression, or if he or she says things like, I want to kill myself, or I am thinking that suicide is the best way out.

It is important to always take such statements seriously and to seek an evaluation from a clinical psychologist or other mental health professional. It is true that people often feel uncomfortable talking about death. However, asking your teenager whether he or she is depressed or thinking about suicide is often helpful and fulfills your due diligence as a parent.

Do not worry; you will not put destructive thoughts in your kids head. Instead, such questions often provide assurance that you care and will give your youngster the important opportunity to discuss his problems, rather than act them out.

If any of the red flags discussed previously occur, talk to your child about them and seek professional help if they persist. With the expert treatment of a clinical psychologist, children and teenagers who are initially suicidal can heal and return to their all-important path of normal development.

It is very  hard watching a child go through severe depression.  My son has been fighting this for over a year now.   Although he is recieving professional help through Drs and guidance counselors he hasn’t seemed to make a breakthrough.  As a matter of fact he seems to be threatening suicide more often.  But, now he is also threatening to kill the rest of the family.  Why?  (Not that the reasons is that important)  because he can’t play on the computer when he wants, his sister is annoying him, he doesn’t want to do homework.  This is by far the most difficult thing I have ever been through.  I don’t really know what my next step should be.  I want to hold him close and get him through this but I also need to protect the rest of the family.  It is really scary when you realize that you can’t control depression, it controls you.

In the USA, over 900,000 children are victims of abuse & neglect every year. Child abuse is so common, yet shocking . Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect, the scars can be deep and long-lasting, often leading to future child abuse. Learning the signs and symptoms of child abuse can help break the cycle, finding out where to get help for the children and their caregivers.

Why would someone abuse an innocent child? Child abuse happens in all social groups and all ethnicities. Sadly, the abuse is overwhelmingly caused by those who are supposed to be protecting the child- the parents.

There are many forms of abuse, but the result is the same- serious physical or emotional harm. Physical or sexual abuse may be the most striking types of abuse, since they often unfortunately leave physical evidence behind. However, emotional abuse and neglect are serious types of child abuse that are often more subtle and difficult to spot. Child neglect is the most common type of child abuse.

Risk factors for child abuse include:

History of child abuse. Unfortunately, the patterns we learn in childhood are often what we use as parents. Without treatment and insight, sadly, the cycle of child abuse often continues.

Stress and lack of support. Parenting can be a very time intensive, difficult job. Parents caring for children without support from family, friends or the community can be under a lot of stress. Teen parents often struggle with the maturity and patience needed to be a parent. Caring for a child with a disability, special needs or difficult behaviors is also a challenge. Caregivers who are under financial or relationship stress are at risk as well.

Alcohol or drug abuse. Alcohol and drug abuse lead to serious lapses in judgment. They can interfere with impulse control making emotional and physical abuse more likely. Due to impairment caused by being intoxicated, alcohol and drug abuse frequently lead to child neglect Domestic violence. Witnessing domestic violence in the home, as well as the chaos and instability that is the result, is emotional abuse to a child. Frequently domestic violence will escalate to physical violence against the child as well.

All types of child abuse and neglect leave lasting scars. Some of these scars might be physical, but emotional scarring has long lasting effects throughout life, damaging a child’s sense of self and ability to have healthy relationships.

Physical child abuse: Warning signs and how to help
Many physically abusive parents and caregivers insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline, ways to make children learn to behave. But there’s a big difference between giving an unmanageable child a swat on the backside and twisting the child’s arm until it breaks. Physical abuse can include striking a child with the hand, fist, or foot or with an object, burning, shaking, pushing, or throwing a child; pinching or biting the child, pulling a child by the hair or cutting off a child’s air. Another form of child abuse involving babies is shaken baby syndrome, in which a frustrated caregiver shakes a baby roughly to make the baby stop crying, causing brain damage that often leads to severe neurological problems and even death.

Warning signs of physical abuse
Physical signs. Sometimes physical abuse has clear warning signs, such as unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts. While all children will take a tumble now and then, look for age-inappropriate injuries, injuries that appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt, or a pattern of severe injuries.

Behavioral signs. Other times, signs of physical abuse may be more subtle. The child may be fearful, shy away from touch or appear to be afraid to go home. A child’s clothing may be inappropriate for the weather, such as heavy, long sleeved pants and shirts on hot days.

Caregiver signs. Physically abusive caregivers may display anger management issues and excessive need for control. Their explanation of the injury might not ring true, or may be different from an older child’s description of the injury.

Emotional child abuse
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. This old saying could not be farther from the truth. Emotional child abuse may seem invisible. However, because emotional child abuse involves behavior that interferes with a child’s mental health or social development, the effects can be extremely damaging and may even leave deeper lifelong psychological scars than physical abuse.

Words. Examples of how words can hurt include constant belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child, calling names and making negative comparisons to others, or constantly telling a child he or she is “no good”, “worthless,” “bad,” or “a mistake.” How the words are spoken can be terrifying to a child as well, such as yelling, threatening, or bullying.

Actions. Basic food and shelter may be provided, but withholding love and affection can have devastating effects on a child. Examples include ignoring or rejecting a child, giving him or her the silent treatment. Another strong component of emotional abuse is exposing the child to inappropriate situations or behavior. Especially damaging is witnessing acts that cause a feeling of helplessness and horror, such as in domestic violence or watching another sibling or pet be abused.

Signs of emotional child abuse
Behavioral signs. Since emotional child abuse does not leave concrete marks, the effects may be harder to detect. Is the child excessively shy, fearful or afraid of doing something wrong?

Caregiver signs. Does a caregiver seem unusually harsh and critical of a child, belittling and shaming him or her in front of others? Has the caregiver shown anger or issues with control in other areas? A caregiver may also seem strangely unconcerned with a child’s welfare or performance. Keep in mind that there might not be immediate caregiver signs. Tragically, many emotionally abusive caregivers can present a kind outside face to the world, making the abuse of the child all the more confusing and scary.

Sexual child abuse
Sexual abuse, defined as any sexual act between an adult and a child, has components of both physical and emotional abuse. Sexual abuse can be physical, such as inappropriate fondling, touching and actual sexual penetration. It can also be emotionally abusive, as in cases where a child is forced to undress or exposing a child to adult sexuality. Aside from the physical damage that sexual abuse can cause, the emotional component is powerful and far reaching. The layer of shame that accompanies sexual abuse makes the behavior doubly traumatizing. While news stories of sexual predators are scary, what is even more frightening is that the adult who sexually abuses a child or adolescent is usually someone the child knows and is supposed to trust: a relative, childcare provider, family friend, neighbor, teacher, coach, or clergy member. Children may worry that others won’t believe them and will be angry with them if they tell. They may believe that the abuse is their fault, and the shame is devastating and can cause lifelong effects.

Signs of sexual child abuse
Behavioral signs. Does the child display knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or even seductive behavior? A child might appear to avoid another person, or display unusual behavior- either being very aggressive or very passive. Older children might resort to destructive behaviors to take away the pain, such as alcohol or drug abuse, self-mutilation, or suicide attempts.

Physical signs. A child may have trouble sitting or standing, or have stained, bloody or torn underclothes. Swelling, bruises, or bleeding in the genital area is a red flag. An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14, is a strong cause of concern.

Caregiver signs. The caregiver may seem to be unusually controlling and protective of the child, limiting contact with other children and adults. Again, as with other types of abuse, sometimes the caregiver does not give outward signs of concern. This does not mean the child is lying or exaggerating.

Child neglect
Child neglect is the most frequent form of child abuse. Neglect is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs, endangering a child’s physical and psychological well-being. Child neglect is not always deliberate. Sometimes, a caregiver becomes physically or mentally unable to care for a child, such as in untreated depression or anxiety. Other times, alcohol or drug abuse may seriously impair judgment and the ability to keep a child safe. The end result, however, is a child who is not getting their physical and/or emotional needs met.

Warning signs of child neglect
Physical signs. A child may consistently be dressed inappropriately for the weather, or have ill-fitting, dirty clothes and shoes. They might appear to have consistently bad hygiene, like appearing very dirty, matted and unwashed hair, or noticeable body odor. Another warning sign is untreated illnesses and physical injuries.

Behavioral signs. Does the child seem to be unsupervised? School children may be frequently late or tardy. The child might show troublesome, disruptive behavior or be withdrawn and passive.

Caregiver signs. Does the caregiver have problems with drugs or alcohol? While most of us have a little clutter in the home, is the caregivers home filthy and unsanitary? Is there adequate food in the house? A caregiver might also show reckless disregard for the child’s safety, letting older children play unsupervised or leaving a baby unattended. A caregiver might refuse or delay necessary health care for the child.

What to do if a child reports abuse
You may feel overwhelmed and confused if a child begins talking to you about abuse. It is a difficult subject and hard to accept, and you might not know what to say. The best help you can provide is calm, unconditional support and reassurance. Let your actions speak for you if you are having trouble finding the words. Remember that it is a tremendous act of courage for children to come forward about abuse. They might have been told specifically not to tell, and may even feel that the abuse is normal. They might feel they are to blame for the abuse. The child is looking to you to provide support and help- don’t let him or her down.

Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial. However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down. As hard as it may be, remain as calm and reassuring as you can.

Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his/her own words what happened, but don’t interrogate the child or ask leading questions. This may confuse and fluster the child and make it harder for them to continue their story.

Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong. It takes a lot for a child to come forward about abuse. Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously, and that it is not the child’s fault.

Reporting child abuse and neglect
Reporting child abuse seems so official. Many people are reluctant to get involved in other families lives. However, by reporting, you can make a tremendous difference in the life of a child and the child’s family, especially if you help stop the abuse early. Early identification and treatment can help mitigate the long-term effects of abuse. If the abuse is stopped and the child receives competent treatment, the abused child can begin to regain a sense of self-confidence and trust. Some parents may also benefit from support, parent training and anger management.

Reporting child abuse: Myths and Facts I don’t want to interfere in some one else’s family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.

What if I break up someone’s home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home - unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.

They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most states, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.

It won’t make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don’t see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.

Child Abuse Hotlines: Where to call to get help or report abuse
If you suspect a child is in immediate danger contact law enforcement as soon as possible.

To get help in the U.S., call:
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) – Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

To get help for child sexual abuse, call:

1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) – Stop It Now

1-800-656-HOPE Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

Child abuse prevention
Reducing the incidence of child abuse is a matter of intervention and education.

Intervention
In some cases, as in cases of extreme cruelty, sexual abuse, and severe alcohol and drug abuse, children are safer away from the caregiver. Not all abusive parents intend harm to their children, however. Some parents need help to realize that they are hurting their children, and can work on their problems. Some examples include:

Domestic violence. A mother might be trying to do her best to protect her children from an abusive husband, not realizing that the children are being emotionally abused even if they are not physically abused. Helping a mother leave an abusive relationship and getting supportive counseling can help stop these children from being abused.

Alcohol and drug abuse. Alcohol and drug abusers may be so focused on their addiction that they are hurting their children without realizing it. Getting appropriate help and support for alcohol and drug abuse can help parents focus back on their children. Untreated mental illness. A depressed mother might not be able to respond to her own needs much less her children’s. A caregiver suffering from emotional trauma may be distant and withdrawn from her children, or quick to anger without understanding why. Treatment for the caregiver means better care for the children.

In some cases, you might be able to provide support for parents/caregivers who need help yourself. What if a parent or caregiver comes to you? The key is not to be self-righteous or judgmental, which can alienate caregivers, but offer support and concrete offers of help, such as helping them connect with community resources. If you feel that your safety or the safety of the child would be threatened if you try to intervene, leave it to the professionals. You may be able to provide more support later after the initial professional intervention.

For caregivers
Do you see yourself in some of these descriptions, painful as it may be? Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? Caring for children can be very difficult. Don’t go it alone. Ask for help if you need it. If you don’t have a friend or family to turn to, call the child abuse hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD, yourself. The hotline is also designed to get you support and find resources in the community that can help you.

It’s official, teen girls now have more problems with drug and alcohol abuse than do teen boys; and they more than likely are using drugs or alcohol for completely different reasons. Additionally, because they don’t often show the same type of behavioral disturbances as do teen boy substance abusers, girls often continue to use for longer at unsafe levels before parents ever know the real extent o the problem.

Firstly, teen girls don’t use drugs and alcohol for the same reason that teen boys do (Why teen girls get addicted ). Teenage boys tend to use drugs and alcohol recreationally, and use for the excitement, fun and experimentation that drugs promise. Girls are far more likely to take drugs or alcohol as a way to combat low self esteem, to gain self confidence in a group, to attract the attention of older teen boys who also use, and to use drugs as a way to combat feelings of depression and anxiety.

Girls suffer more from drug abuse

Unfortunately, teen girls also seem to be uniquely affected by their drug use, and teen girls (already at a higher risk for depression that teen boys) if using and abusing drugs or alcohol are two and a half times more likely to experience clinical depression. They are also far more likely to experience an unwanted pregnancy, contract an STD and also to use drugs for properties such as weight loss.

The problem with pills

Teen girls are especially attracted to prescription pills, attracted by the ease of access, the perception of safety, and the perception of positive side effects (decreased anxiety and weight loss). With some prescription pain killers every bit as addictive as heroin, this is problematic.

Additionally, teen girls tend to abuse for longer on average before receiving intervention and professional help. Teen boys using drugs and alcohol are more likely to get in trouble at school, more likely to get into fights or problems with the law, or more likely to have a DUI; while teen girl users tend to avoid most of these problems. The problem is that without some of these obvious signs of use, parents and teachers remain unaware of the level of use, and are unable to intervene in a timely manner.

Parents need to be on the lookout for drug and alcohol use and abuse in teenage girls, and understand that some of the signs may not obviously point to drug use.

Increasing moodiness and depression is a normal sign of drug use and abuse that very rarely gets identified as such, with parents misattributing changes in behavior to the normal expressions of adolescence. While some moodiness can obviously be expected during the formative adolescent years, excessive signs of depression are not normal; and very likely indicate a greater problem.

If your teen no longer has any interest in family activities or wants to spend all of their time in their room, you should be concerned.

If your teen no longer cares as much about their appearance, you should be concerned.

If your teen suddenly drops all old friends for an assortment of new, and seemingly unsavory friends; you should be concerned.

If grades suddenly slip, you should be concerned.

Any or all of these behavioral signs may or may not indicate a problem with drugs or alcohol, but they are worrying behaviors and they do need to be investigated; and if your child is not experimenting or abusing drugs or alcohol, they may be enduring some form of clinical depression. A professional diagnosis can be very helpful for parents concerned about the health and safety of an at risk teen.

You can never protect your teen from all of the dangers out there, but you can do a lot simply by staying involved and active in their life, by leading with a good example on drugs and alcohol use, and by having clear and understood rules on the use of any form of drugs or alcohol.

Talk to your teen, stay involved, make time for mutually enjoyable activities; you’ll be in a far better position to evaluate what changes in behavior may mean, and how far from normal these changes really are.

Christian Shire is an addictions professional writing about all matters pertaining to treatment and recovery. If you need help making a decision about treatment visit Choosehelp to read more.

Read the daily addiction blog Troubleblog for stories of recovery and the latest news on treatment options.

In the past, it could be said that talking to your teens about sexuality was relatively straightforward. These discussions normally centred on the average heterosexual relationships without any reference to alternative sexualities such as homosexual and bisexual orientations. However, it is imperative in modern society to teach our children about alternative sexual orientations and tolerance of those differences.

Gay teens are one of the most disadvantaged and vulnerable groups in society, facing the pressure and dangers of gay bashing’ and other forms of homophobic bullying. There is a threefold likelihood of lesbian or gay teens being bullied than other youth.

These pressures in turn lead to a higher incidence of social isolation, alcohol and drug abuse, family problems, and low self esteem than their peers.

There is a relatively common belief that someone who is gay must have suffered some sexual trauma or has been influenced to make this decision by a gay adult. This is a myth as neither of these things influences sexuality. In the past, many have felt the need to hide their homosexuality and have lived their life feeling as though they are living a lie. However, in more recent times, teens are coming out’ much more often and at a younger age.

Talking to parents about their sexuality can sometimes be difficult, if not seemingly impossible. If they have heard anti-gay conversations between their parents or others close to them, this may contribute to their fear. In some situations, these youth run away from home because they feel that they cannot deal with the reaction of their parents.

There are also many gay teens that are forced out of their homes by parents who are unable to deal with their teen’s sexuality. Even for those who remain at home, the tension that occurs when the teen comes out’ can push relationships between the parents and the child beyond breaking point. This can lead to verbal or even physical violent eruptions between both parties, leading to severe relational breakdown. The trauma of this resistance to the teen’s sexual identity can be emotionally devastating. This resistance may be particularly high in parents who have been raised with the conviction that homosexuality is always wrong.

Becoming a teenager is already a big deal regardless of whether the person is heterosexual or homosexual but for the gay teen, the issues are far more frightening. Often, the teen is already having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he or she is homosexual and is already fearful of peoples’ intolerance of them. The ultimate rejection by their parents on the basis of gender issues leaves the person feeling totally confused and isolated.

The incidence of suicide among gay teens is around three times that of their heterosexual counterparts though sexuality and gender issues are not in themselves, seen as a risk factor for suicide. However, the feelings of isolation and of being different can drive many to suicidal behaviour.

Perhaps the difference in acceptance of homosexuals could begin in what we teach children in earlier years. After all, bigotry is something that is learned from a young age. Make your children aware that any form of hatred and discrimination is unacceptable and instil these values as early as possible.

When discussing sexuality with your children, explain that homosexuals have not choice and that they need to be respected as people just as anyone else does.

Let’s do what we can to stop contaminating the minds of our young and causing the discrimination against other people, whether based on race, religion, or sexual orientation.

Gay teenagers need empathy from those around them and from their healthcare provider. Otherwise, they may feel isolated and worthless, thus pressuring them into taking risks with their sexual health. Having sex with someone of the same gender does not eliminate the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and gay teens need to be aware of this and comfortable enough to discuss these problems with their doctor without fear of prejudice.

Becoming a teenager is a huge milestone for both teenagers and parents and it is particularly so when the teenager is gay. As parents, it is important to reassure the teenager that being gay really is okay and that, regardless of their sexual identity, you love them anyway.

Though the gay community has gained some civil rights over the years, it is important to continue the fight to erode the conservative views on gay issues. Only then can the gay community have the same freedoms as their heterosexual counterparts.

Each month more than ten women of all ages and backgrounds contact our Adoption Center with the same experience- they have been victims of a date rape drug, and are now pregnant … most of the time not knowing who got them pregnant. Just after Spring break, is a time when we see a peak in pregnancy. For many of these women a date rape drug was involved.

The U.S. Census, suggest that there may be 32,101 annual rape-related pregnancies among American women over the age of 18. With the adult pregnancy rate associated with rape estimated to be 4.7%.

Several college aged women have reported waking up in frat houses or apartments with no clothing on, finding themselves in strange surroundings with unknown people, or having actually been sexually assaulted while under the influence of a date rape drug.

Just recently our 18 yr old daughter shared her plans to celebrate her graduation with some girl friends in Cancun. Concerned with their safety and still wanting them to enjoy themselves. This prompted me to ask her- Do you and your friends know what rape drugs are and how they are used? Surprising she had heard very little on the topic, as most of the women that call us don’t know either and wish someone had shared the following information.

Rohypnol is becoming the drug of choice for would-be rapist’s .Most all predators target unsuspecting victims by slipping these illicit drugs into their beverages at parties, bars or nightclubs and dances. Rape drugs have the power to make one drink feel like six or more.

Laura a sophomore from Florida was one such call. Laura who attended a private party off campus recalls she was dancing when she feels it was when she left her beer that the perpetrator laced her drink. She recalls she only had one drink and started feeling kind of sick, then my memory got foggy, I started feeling drowsy, really dizziness, confused about where I was. My roommate was going to come with me to the party , but at the last minute she make other plans, I decided to go alone, which was my first mistake. She has no memory of what happened for the next 8 hours.

She woke up in a back room, in the club with bruises on her thighs, half naked and suspected that someone may have had sex with her, but couldn’t remember who the person was or any other details. . She was hung over for days afterward.

Laurie blocked the whole incident from her mind and allowed a numbness to take over her feelings. Her grades fell and she found her mind wandering in class.

This is not uncommon for women that have been raped. This can be used as a defense mechanism against being overwhelmed with feelings or losing control and are common reactions to what has happened to them. Others become anxious or depressed.

In Laura’s case she discovered 6 weeks later she was pregnant, she dropped out of college to have the baby and chose to have him adopted by a childless couple though our adoption center. “It was the only way I could make something good out of something so bad, I needed to do something positive and it wasn’t the child’s fault”

Laura recalls when she first found out how angry she was and scared, “I wouldn’t have sex with a guy I didn’t know. I have always been so careful of what I do and who I date. I was just so mad at myself for not being more careful, I didn’t know if I had contracted a disease or HIV, it was very scary and embarrassing”

Toni was 19 yr old victim of a date rape drug in her freshman year in San Diego, during spring break. Assaulted at a party by a friend she met in a class and had known for almost a year. She kept saying “I considered him one of my best friends. He acted like he would protect me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it actually happened to me, even now.

My body has been violated, my trust in him as a friend has been shaken and I feel betrayed… I keep saying to myself, “I know him, and he’s not a terrible person - so it must have been something I said to him or did that got me into this mess.” I don’t remember and I keep trying to remember what I did, or said - what happened that night- my own judgment has been stunned!

“I just couldn’t go through with an abortion after what happened- as hard as the pregnancy was for me, I have always believed there are no mistakes and this baby didn’t cause this and should not be the one that suffered, I had done the suffering, abortion wasn’t the answer to my problem” It took some time, but I chose a family that I knew would love this child no matter what. Even through the rape something came good out of it. Not what I had ever dreamt of when I started college. “I have never regretted giving birth and giving her life” I still have trouble trusting people, but am working on it.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, “Date Rape”, is one of the fastest growing drug-facilitated, sexual assault crimes in America today. Two thirds of GHB is ingested by people aged 18-25 years old. And Ecstasy abuse has increased 500 percent over a five-year period.

Studies confirm that acquaintance rape occurs more commonly among college students, predominantly first year students, than among any other age group. A recent large study, found one in four college women reported being the victim of rape or attempted rape and 84% of their assailants were boyfriends or acquaintances. Most victims remember nothing of the incident except that the feeling of being violated. The same study found that one in four college men disclosed to having used sexual aggression with women, and one in twelve to committing sexual assault of some kind. These men will slip the drug into a woman’s drink without their knowledge, most often in combination with beer, and wait for the drug to incapacitate the woman before sexual assaulting her. The assailants would go to parties to look for easy targets and opportunities and wait until the victim is too out of it to say “no” and then will have sex with them. Many men do it just to take advantage of women sexually. !

The drug is often added to punch or other open container drinks at fraternity parties, college functions and social gatherings, where it is reportedly given to female party goers in hopes of lowered their inhibitions and facilitating in a potential sexual conquest for the assailant. High risk situations are clubs, parties, bars, and raves. Women contacting us are of all backgrounds and ages. Many are still in some shock over being pregnant and are not sure of the race of the man than raped them, and have little to share about the “father” of their child.

The date rape drugs are often referred to as the “alphabet drugs” called “E” or Ecstasy, “G” which can be either GHB or GBL and “K” or “Special K” which is Ketamine. For a while Rohypnol or “Roofies” was one of the most popular date rape drugs, but it has been replaced by GHB as the date rape drug of choice. The most popular date-rape drugs are (GHB) gamma hydroxybutyrate and ketamine. The “date rape” drug or “sexual assault” drugs is the street name for Rohypnol because it has been associated with date rape. GHB is produced in clear liquid, white powder, tablet, and capsule forms. It is also been known common as: Rophies, Roofies, Roachies, Forget Pill ,R2, roofenol, Roche, circles, La rocha, Rope, Trip-and-Fall , Liquid X, Liquid E, G-Juice, Rib, Mexican Valium, Roach-2, Roopies, and Ropies, Mind-Erasers, Liquid Ecstasy,” Somatomax , Scoop, or Grievous Bodily Harm.

Ketamine Also known as “K”, “Special K” or “Vitamin K”. Commonly comes in a liquid form, but is also found in powder or pill forms.

Rohypnol is not legal in the US, nor is not manufactured or sold legally in the United States. It is used as a short-term treatment for insomnia in other countries. It is produced and sold legally by prescription in Europe and Latin America, then smuggled into the United States by mail or travelers smuggled it in. The drug is often distributed on the street in its original “bubble packaging” which creates a false appearance of legitimacy and makes it appear to be harmless and legal. Rohypnol tablets are white, scored on one side, with the word “ROCHE” and an encircled one or two indicating the dosage on the other. Rohypnol is a low-cost drug, often less than $5.00 per tablet. They are sold in sealed bubble pack of one or two mg doses.

Rohypnol can be addictive and cause physical dependence. It has physiological effects similar to Valium but is nearly ten times more potent. Withdrawal symptoms include headache, muscle pain, confusion, hallucinations and convulsions. Some women have had seizures occur up to a week after cessation of use.

Rohypnol can often be dissolved in a beverage, and is easily undetectable.

Ecstasy Also known as MDMA and is known on the street as Adam, XTC, E, M, Bean, and Roll. Ecstasy comes in a tablet that is often branded; a few samples are shown below:

In combination with alcohol, it can induce a blackout with memory loss and a decrease in resistance. Women as young as 13 throughout the country have reported being raped after being involuntarily sedated with Rohypnol. Roughly ten minutes after having the drug in her system, women report feeling dizzy and disoriented, at the same time feeling too hot or too cold or both, some become nauseated. Sedation starts appox. 25-30 minutes crest within two hours, with effects continue for up to eight hours. The drug has no taste or odor. Victims don’t have any memories of what happened while under the drug’s influence. The woman can appear extremely intoxicated, with slurred speech or experience difficulty speaking, gastrointestinal disturbances and urinary retention, poor coordination, swaying, blood-shot eyes, decreased blood pressure, and then she passes out….but without the odor of alcohol.

Vicky was 19 when she came up pregnant - she had no physical signals of rape, she woke up in her own bed and therefore had no reason to be concerned. She assumes that she had too much to drink although she doesn’t remember the previous night’s events; she thought a friend must have helped get her safely home. She was shocked to discover 2 months later that she was pregnant. I hadn’t had sex for over a year, and bought three pregnancy tests before going to a clinic for a blood test. She chose to keep and raise her child with the help of her family. In here words “having the baby bought peace and healing to my life”

Alcohol and Rohypnol combination is intensified and very hazardous together. If a woman is drinking alcohol when the drug is slipped in her drink, the combination of, their effects on her memory and judgment are greatly impaired. A woman who become intoxicated on a combination of alcohol and Rohypnol often experience “blackouts” lasting eight to twenty-four hours following ingestion making her unable to resist a sexual attack. If combined with other drugs the results may lead to respiratory depression, aspiration, coma and even death. Possession of Rohypnol is punishable for up to three years in prison and a fine. Distribution and administration of this rape drug without the person’s knowledge is punishable by twenty years in prison and a fine.

By taking the preventive measures to protect yourself, your friends, you can avoid becoming potential victims. Print this article out and give it to friends you know … it may save their lives.

Besides the worries of unprotected sex, sexually transmitted diseases she ….

Your best defense against rapists and rape drugs is awareness.

Here are a few helpful tips for staying aware, alert and safe:

” Be careful about accepting drinks from anyone you don’t know well or long enough to trust. The best choice not to let anyone fix you a drink, Offer to mix the drink yourself. Carry the drink yourself.

” Don’t share or exchange drinks with anyone.

” If you are accepting a drink, make sure it’s from an unopened container and that you open it yourself.

” Never accept drinks from individuals you do not know and trust

” Do not drink from open containers at parties and accept drinks only from bartenders or servers, watch them open the can or pour- don’t be distracted by conversation.

” If dancing, don’t leave your drinks unattended. If you realize your drink has been left unattended, toss it out.

” Consider buying a specially designed drug testing coaster- see below to test your drink for the drug. They are low-cost and a smart choice

” Remember any kind of beverage can be drugged- there is no taste or smell.

” If possible bring your own drinks to parties when possible, Don’t drink from a container that is being passed around

” If your drink tastes or looks differently than it should or tastes “funny” or salty, foamy, cloudy, or if it has residue in it throw it away

” Don’t go to parties alone; travel in a group of people and stick together at a party. Look out not only for yourself, but keep an eye on your female friends.

” A really good idea is to not let your friends get too drunk or wasted. If they do party intensely, take them home, staying with them to make sure they are all right before leaving.

” Don’t let your friend disappear and don’t let them wander off with a member of the opposite sex, stay by their side. Don’t leave with someone you do not know well or have just met.

” Don’t put your drink down and leave it unattended, even to go to the restroom. Monitor your drink constantly.

” Refuse to drink from a punchbowl; this is a place where anything can be dropped in.

” Stay sober. Don’t use drugs or alcohol; you need to have a clear head at all times.

” Assign a designated sober person when going out.

” Notify other female friends you know about the effects of this dangerous drug.

” Be observant to the behaviors and actions of your friends, trust your instincts.

” Listen for the street names of the drugs mentioned above.

” Keep a cell phone with you and charged up in the event you have a problem and need help.

Remember You Did Not Deserve What Happened To You

And the Assault Was Not Your Fault.

” If you think that you have been a victim, notify the authorities immediately if you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can file a police report.

” Get immediate medical attention. Call 911 or go to an emergency room. Request that a urine sample be taken to screen for the presence of date rape drugs.

” Preserve as much physical evidence as possible. Don’t urinate, shower, bathe, douche, or throw away the clothing you were wearing during the assault. If possible, save any other materials that might provide evidence, such as the glass or can that held your drink.

” Call a crisis rape center for information and support.

All women are potential victims of sexual assault: regardless of there age, race, sexual preference, occupation or education. A woman can be assaulted by a stranger, by a friend, by an acquaintance, co-worker or relative.

Q. How will I feel after an assault?

There is no “correct” way to feel after an assault. Be aware that different people need to heal in their own ways. Some women may need to talk about the assault a number of times to heal; in working through a difficult experience- reliving the violation. Seeking a professional familiar with date rape can make a big difference in recovery.

Some women find their faith in God may be strained but find strength in keeping their faith and attending church or synagogue helpful. Other women find the answer may be involvement in activities to help forget. Then when they are better able to handle the facts and face them can they find peace to work through the pain.

Finding a qualified rape counselor or participating in a closed group counseling with other women, who understand what you are going through can be healing in itself. Many women who have been victims of the date rape drug have some or all of the following reactions:

” Anger and frustration

” Disbelief and Denial

” Guilt/ Self Blame

” Helplessness/ Confused

” Avoidance of Friends

” Feeling Paranoid

” Difficulty in Concentrating

” Change in Sleep Patterns

” Sexual Disinterest Or Change in Sexual Behavior

” Can’t Stop Crying Or Can’t Cry

” Inability To Cope With Ordinary Situations

” Problems With Trust

” Depression

” Frenzied involved in their Work

” Low Self-Esteem

” Reoccurring Nightmares

” Changed Alcohol Or Drug use

” Wanting To Forget, Escape OR never get out Of Bed

” Eating Everything Or Nothing At All

As you work through the healing process, keep these suggestions in mind:

” It is not your fault - you are not responsible for the unwanted sex.

” You are not the guilty party.

” Some people may try to make you feel responsible for what happened because of their own feelings of vulnerability or guilt.

” That you may have been intoxicated does not give anyone the right to assault you - nothing gives anyone that right.

” Acquaintance rape happens because the rapist fails to respect the victim’s individual will, not because of irresistible arousal.

” A rapist acts without regard for the victim, so saying no or even physically resisting cannot always be enough to prevent the assault.

How to Help a Friend Who Has Been Assaulted….

” Let her make decisions. Offer to make phone calls for information, but don’t take over for her. She has just had control taken away and needs to regain it.

” Don’t touch her without first asking permission. Say, for example, “Would you like a hug?” or “Would you like to hold my hand?” A caring touch can help the victim but unwanted touching can be very uncomfortable or even threatening.

” Don’t blame her. Questions like “Why did you go home with him?” What were you thinking of? Will only reinforce her sense of guilt or shame.

” Let her know she is safe, and that you won’t violate her trust.

” Try to deal with your own reactions to the circumstances later. You may feel angry, helpless, confused, or violated yourself. Keep in mind that your friend probably feels all that and more, so seeing your reactions may not help her. Try to focus on her feelings. Later, when her immediate necessities are taken care, is the best time for you to take care of yourself and seek out a counselor. A sexual assault can be distressing for friends, land family members, as well.

Drug testing drink coaster Singles bars have never been risk free, but so-called date-rape drugs give you one more reason to be cautious. After a friend was attacked by a man who may have spiked her drink, Francisco Guerra developed a cardboard drink coaster that can identify two of the most popular date-rape drugs: gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB) and ketamine. Just place a drop of liquid on the coaster, and rub it in with your finger. If the spot turns blue, toss that cocktail. Fifteen million of these coasters have already been distributed; look for them at 7-Elevens

http://www.drinksafetech.com/ about 40¢ a coaster

More helpful Resources . . .

National Institute on Drug Abuse

Phone: (888) NIH-NIDA

http://www.nida.nih.gov/NIDAHome1.html

Rape recovery site

http://www.come.to/raperecovery

American Council for Drug Education

Phone: (800) 488-3784

http://www.acde.org

Hope for Healing

http://www.hopeforhealing.org/

Support for people conceived through rape and incest.

http://www.stigmatized.org

American Society of Addiction Medicine

Phone: (301) 656-3920

http://www.asam.org

Association for Medical Education and Research in Substance Abuse

Phone: (401) 444-1817

http://www.amersa.org

National Institute on Drug Abuse (Rohypnol and GHB)

http://165.112.78.61/Infofax/RohypnolGHB.html

State Directory for Offices of Victim Services

US Department of Justice

For assistance in accessing local Victim Services:

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/state.htm

includes a clickable US State Map

As parents, you need to be aware about the increasing number of cases of teen eating disorders nowadays. Teens fall into the age group that is very vulnerable to the attraction of looking good. However, when they start to obsess over their body shape, they are at risk of developing an eating disorder. Teen eating disorders can be very dangerous, simply because the bodies of your teenagers are still growing and the impact of an eating disorder can have vast consequences about their proper development.

There are various reasons why teen eating disorders are becoming so common nowadays. Influences from the media are partly to blame. A constant bombardment of how the media projects its perception of what is considered good looking has an impact of how your teenager thinks. During adolescence, teens also tend to focus on their physical appearance, including the body, in order to attract members of the opposite sex. Thoughts of inadequacy can cause your teen to want to gain control over the weight or body, thus putting him or her at risk.

Most teens say that control is a main thing that they are looking for. Some take being able to control their weight is taken as a way of taking control of their life. This control issue can become an excessive focus upon their food intake and exercise level.

Two teen eating disorders are usually diagnosed. Each one of them is characterized by slightly different symptoms, but they still are a means of gaining control over their body and weight.

1. Bulimia refers to a condition whereby the patient to go through periods of eating way excessively, followed by purging to remove the food from their bodies due to guilt from having eating too much. The purging can involve many methods such as vomiting, enemas, taking laxatives, fasting, etc. Purging is undertaken as the patient does not want his or her body to absorb the nutrients and put on weight. This eating disorder can cause many different symptoms, including visiting the bathroom after meals, using medications to control weight, withdrawal from friends and family, high consciousness concerning the body and weight, amongst others.

2. Anorexia nervosa refers to an excessive obsession with dieting and exer