The feeling that everything is swirling around you and that the world is ending right before your eyes is a horrible experience. When you have a panic disorder, however, this can be a fairly regular occurrence during times of stress. If you’ve felt these kinds of out of control feelings before, you might have suffered from a panic attack. But to make sure that you are doing what’s best for your body, here is the basic background on panic attacks, what they feel like, and when you should seek help.

Defining Panic Attacks

In truth, there are a lot of possible definitions of panic attacks - and they vary from person to person. But what is known is that panic attacks occur when the body gets a rush of adrenaline, causing it to feel the ‘fight or flight’ response. The body becomes very excited and energized, but also tense and nervous while the adrenaline moves through the blood stream. These attacks can often last for twenty minutes to up to a few hours, depending on how fast the adrenaline can be used up.

Often without a discernable cause, panic attacks are generally precipitated by a stressful event, but can also occur for no reason at all. When a person has a panic attack the first time, it can often lead to subsequent panic attacks because the person now fears that it will happen again and again.

Possible Symptoms

Just as every person is different every panic attack can have different signs and symptoms. These symptoms can include:

• Palpitations, fast heart rate
• Sweating and flushing of the skin
• Shaking
• Feeling short of breath, or choking
• Chest discomfort or pain
• Nausea or digestive distress
• Feeling lightheaded, dizzy or as though you may faint
• Feelings of things being ‘unreal’
• Feeling detached from the world around you
• Fear of losing control
• Fear of going crazy
• Fear of dying
• Tingling feelings
• Chills or hot flashes

These signs can come one at a time, or all at once, depending on the severity of the panic attack. Some people will only feel a few moderate symptoms, which others liken the panic attack experience to feeling like they were having a heart attack.

A pure panic attack is not necessarily a dangerous event. More than 5% of the population will experience one at one point of their life or another.

But this is the main reason why panic attacks require some sort of medical treatment or attention. Because their symptoms are so similar to more serious and deadly medication events, you need to know when to call in a professional opinion.

When You Need Medical Attention

Determining when you might need medical attention is a tricky proposition. Because your body is surging with adrenaline, it can certainly feel as though you are dying, even if you are not.

It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to chest related symptoms. If you feel pain or pressure in your chest that does not go away, you need immediate medical attention. Chances are pretty good that you are only having a panic attack, but in the case that you may not be, you need immediate assistance to prevent heart damage.

Another time when you might want to seek medical help is if your heart rate is extraordinarily high. That is, if your heart rate is over 120 beats per minute and it stays there. This excessive heart beat can also cause heart damage as well as more serious medical events. Again, having an emergency technician check you out is the best advice.

Author: Grant Eckert is a writer for CareLink. CareLink is a leading provider of Community Support Services| Bipolar Treatment

What kinds of people are prone to addictions or substance abuse? Many people are susceptible to these problems, especially people who suffer from depression, low self-esteem, loneliness, excessive stress, or are in a relationship they don’t like and don’t feel they can get out of. Young people who have difficulty fitting in, are constantly under attack by bullies and peer pressure, have a lot of stress at home or are extremely unhappy with themselves are also individuals to watch for signs of possible addiction or substance abuse.

Can We Stop Our Youth From the Perils of Drug Abuse?

Teen Drug Abuse

A teenager with a family history of drug abuse and a lack of social skills can move rapidly from the level of experimentation to grave abuse or dependency. Some other teenagers, who have no family history of such abuse, may also reach the level of utter dependency. Although any prediction is almost impossible, teenagers with a family history of alcohol or drug abuse should especially abstain and refrain from experimenting.

The Drug Abuse Warning Network, which is a Public Health Surveillance System indicate that the Emergency Department episodes in drug-abuse have more than doubled since the previous years as per the surveys taken from 21 Metropolitan Cities in U.S. However amongst youth ages 12 to 17 drug-related episodes have alarmingly quadrupled! Who is to blame? Is our child’s destiny a product of chance or a culmination of parental care?

How Addiction Affects the Brain

When a chemical enters the brain, it is absorbed through receptor site. Drugs entering these receptors are believed to act on the brain like the body’s natural chemicals (such as endorphins and dopamine) that are involved in producing the sensation of pleasure. When the body getting such chemicals from an outside source, the brain produces much less of its own and becomes dependent on the outside source. As the brain adapts to the drugs presence, the person using the drug builds tolerance and must continually increase the dosage in order to produce the initial pleasure sensations.

Treatment For Addiction

There are many types of treatment available, beginning with Medical Detoxification, Short Term Residential, Long Term Residential, Outpatient Treatment and often times a combination of these options is the best course to take. There are professional intake screening and referral agencies which can help people to find the best course of treatment for them.

Alcoholic rehabilitation can only commence once an intervention has occurred, especially if the alcoholic is in denial of his or her use. Talking about the problem in a non-judgmental way can encourage the addict to get the help that he or she needs. Alcohol rehabilitation and treatment can be administered in a variety of methods. Group therapy such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) can be beneficial to alcoholics because they are surrounded by people with similar problems looking to find treatment.

Prescription Drug Addiction

When it comes to prescription painkillers, we really seem to be between a rock and a hard place. After God knows how many people were killed, injured or turned into drug addicts with OxyContin, doctors started looking for alternatives. Many chose methadone. Now methadone is a big factor in prescription drug addiction epidemic, and the overdose statistics are alarming. Methadone users would be wise to get into a drug addiction treatment center that can help them get off it.

Some kids start taking OxyContin because a friend gave it to them, some get them from their parents’ or friends’ medicine cabinets and others get hooked after being given them by a doctor for a injury. If your son or daughter is a college athlete who’s had an injury, there’s a good chance they were prescribed OxyContin for the pain. If they take it for a very short time it isn’t necessarily that excruciating to stop. But sometimes even taking them for a couple of weeks can lead to prescription drug addiction.

By: Vanya Hartwell

One of the greatest, but too often unspoken, dangers of teen drug use and addiction is the high risk of suicide that tends to accompany it. Teens who use drugs regularly are more likely to consider suicide as well as to act upon their thoughts. According to the American Psychiatric Association, many teens suffer from depression. In many cases, teens will often “self-medicate” with drugs in order to avoid exposing themselves and their problems to adults. The use of drugs does not alleviate the problems, but instead, usually aggravate them, leaving the teen with a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. This places them at greater risk for suicide attempts. Drug use and dependency clouds judgment, and lowers the teen’s natural survival instinct. Drug use affects the chemical balance of the brain, intensifying feelings of sadness, depression and loneliness. Periods of withdrawal from the drug, and intense feelings of crashing profoundly affect the young person’s mind and mood. While these factors exist in adult addicts, they are more intensified in the young adult and teen, particularly due to his dependency upon adults.

In addition, a frequent user of drugs already has the means at his disposal to act on suicidal thoughts. Overdosing is one of the easiest and most common methods of suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst young people from the ages of fifteen to twenty-four. Some experts suggest that as many as ninety percent of those teens who commit suicide abuse drugs, though others estimate that the number is closer to between fifty- three and sixty percent. Teens, especially today, are under a tremendous amount of pressure. Caught in the crossroads between childhood and adulthood, teens are filled with conflicts about themselves, their identity, and their place in the world. These factors, coupled with their perception that the adult world doesn’t or can’t, understand their angst, leave them vulnerable and isolated. These factors contribute to both addiction and suicidal intention, both of which also feed on the other.

Methods for treating a teen with suicidal intentions are very similar to treating teens with addictions. Most of the root causes are quite similar. The most important thing for an adult to provide the teen, is an avenue of communication. It is important that the teen feel that he has someone to turn towards to express his feelings and problems. He or she need to feel that they are not isolated. There are people who care about them. They are not the only one who is struggling with these problems. If a teen does not believe this, then no other treatment can truly be effective. However, this is of course, only the first step. The teen needs to receive professional guidance and possibly medical treatment to deal with his addiction.

No matter the cause and solution, the connection between teen substance addiction and suicide is too strong to stand to the side. Of course there has always been preventative programs centering around education, but more active steps need to be planned. In truth the most successful stoppage of teen drug use, is showing the young person that true pleasure comes from hard work and not the quick fix of drug use. If this can be accomplished then the teen will over time turn from addictive substances lower his or her risk of suicide.

Author: Simon P.

Bullying has been around since the beginning of time. Parents, you may remember you or your friends being bullied as a child. No doubt you remember the hurt, frustration, and sadness it caused.

These days, however, bullying isn’t just happening on the playground or at the bus stop, it’s happening on the Internet and on your kids’ cell phones, making it possible to bully a child 24 hours a day and include thousands of participants.

Cyberbullying follows children around the clock, and into the safety of their homes. Many times, kids are scared to tell their parents about cyberbullying, thinking they will be blamed, lose their Internet privileges, or that their parents will call the school or other parents, probably making the bullying worse.

However, the pain that comes from cyberbullying is real. Parents should not underestimate the power of online or cell phone bullying, just because it may be happening in cyberspace and not in person. Cyberbullying can lead to poor grades, depression, eating disorders, self-mutilation, drinking, and drugs. Children have even committed suicide because of cyberbullying. (In 2006, 13-year-old Megan Meier hung herself in her closet after nasty comments about her were posted online and via a fake MySpace profile. The profile was actually created by a classmate’s mother, as it turned out.)

Define bullying

The definition of bullying is something that happens repeatedly and over time, and is inclusive of an imbalance of power. It is not just harassment or defamation.

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It must be a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor.

There are two kinds of cyberbullying, direct attacks (messages sent to your kids directly) and cyberbullying by proxy (using others to help cyberbully the victim, either with or without the accomplice’s knowledge). Because cyberbullying by proxy often gets adults involved in the harassment, it is very dangerous.

What are some ways that kids are being cyberbullied that parents should be aware of?

• Instant Messaging/Text Messaging Harassment
• Stealing Passwords and Impersonation online - Cyberbullying by proxy might include the bully posing as the victim in his or her IM account, sending nasty messages to everyone on that person’s buddy list. In more extreme cases, bullies have posed as the victim, advertising for sex in chat rooms, in search of child molesters
• Blogs or Web Sites created through Facebook, Myspace, etc. This becomes especially serious if bullies are posting personal contact information about the victim online. Many times, bullies will post full names, addresses, and phone numbers to allow the victim to be further harassed.
• Sending Pictures through E-mail and Cell Phones
• Internet Polling, such as “Who is the biggest slut in 8th grade”
• Sending Porn and Other Junk E-Mail and IMs – The victim’s email with get overloaded with junk and porn email, often leading to getting into trouble with the victim’s parents who assume he or she has been looking at inappropriate sites

What can parents tell their kids to prevent cyberbullying?

Educate them about the consequences of losing their ISP or IM accounts. Kids won’t want to lose their Internet privileges.

Talk to your children about not participating in or responding to cyberbullying. Tell them to stop and walk away from the computer or cell phone before they write or respond to something they see written online or in a text message. Explain that there are serious consequences: Any type of password stealing, impersonation, or hacking could result in the law or even the FBI being involved.

Teach your children to take a stand when they see bullying of any kind. Teach bystanders to become allies. This can be an effective method, because nearly every child has been hurt by teasing or bullying at one point. Explain the seriousness of the lifelong psychological consequences of cyberbullying, including poor grades, depression, eating disorders, self-mutilation, drinking, drugs, and even suicide.

Urge your kids to come to you, or a school official or administrator, if they see evidence of cyberbullying. Let them know that their silence is hurting other children.

Peer pressure is instrumental in cyberbullying. Cyberbullying wouldn’t work if the bullies didn’t convince other kids to join up. Here are some principles to help your children stand up to and avoid being part of cyberbullying, from Simple Principles to Raise a Successful Child and Simple Principles to Excel at School:

• Teach your kids to make at least one friend who will say no with them. The hardest part of dealing with peer pressure is being the only one willing to say no. Therefore, your kids should try and have at least one friend he or she can count on to say no too. Having a partner makes it easier to resist the power of peer pressure. Together, your kids and their friends can feel good about not succumbing to peer pressure, and other will soon follow your lead.
• Provide your kids with venues to meet good friends, such as church groups, Boy and Girl Scout troops, Junior Achievement organizations, and other clubs. Surround your children with other kids who care about being successful and who have parents that care.
• Get to know the children that influence your children. Plan activities with your kids and their friends – have them over for dinner or take them to the movies or ice skating. Since you can’t be at your child’s side at all times, becoming familiar and friendly with other parents will help you feel more comfortable that your child is making good choices. Seek out parents with your same standards and values.

What can parents do if their child is being cyberbullied?

First, parents should take this type of bullying very seriously. Parents should not underestimate the power of cyberbullying, just because it may be happening in cyberspace and not in person. The psychological affects of bullying are real and long-lasting, and, as we mentioned before, cyberbullying can be much more extensive and constant than real-life bullying.

Always save or print out bullying messages. However, a print-out is not sufficient to prove a case of cyber-harassment or cyberbullying. You’ll need electronic evidence and live data.

Volunteers from a group called WiredSafety.org can work with parents (free of charge) to preserve the electronic evidence. It is crucial that all electronic evidence is preserved to allow the person to be traced and to take whatever action needs to be taken. The electronic evidence is at risk for being deleted by the Internet service providers unless you reach out and notify them that you need those records preserved. WiredSafety.org can teach parents to use a monitoring product to collect electronic evidence.

Can parents take legal action against cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying typically can result in a child losing their ISP or IM accounts, as a terms of service violation.

Most of the time, cyberbullying doesn’t warrant legal action, although parents often try and pursue criminal charges. However, if there is any indication that personal contact information has been posted online, or any threats are made to your child, go immediately to your local law enforcement agency. While there is a difference between annoying communications and potentially dangerous ones, if in doubt, report it.

If your child is being attacked via Facebook, MySpace, etc. you can email the site and request to have the slanderous site taken down. Unfortunately, this can be a slow process, if it gets taken care of at all. If you’re serious about removing the site in a timely fashion, have an attorney send a Cease and Desist letter to the site.

Where does the law stand on cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is not always a matter for law enforcement. Harassment or mean messages between minors does not define cyberbullying. It is only when the threats become closer to real life, such as threatening bodily harm or death, that law enforcement can be involved. In some cases, it can be considered a misdemeanor cyber-harassment charge, or if the child is young enough, may result in the charge of juvenile delinquency.

Examples of when legal action is or is not an option:

Lewd language, saying, “You are stupid,” or vague threats such as, “You better watch out,” are not enough to involve the police.

Threatening bodily harm or death (“I’m going to break your arm”) or general serious threats, such as “There will be a bomb in school,” or “Don’t take the school bus tomorrow” are considered enough to involve law enforcement.

Likewise, a one-time threat is generally not enough. Cyberbullying must occur repeatedly, or the communications must be steadily increasing or involving new, third parties who are joining in.

Can schools take legal action if the bullying happens to students off campus?

When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for cyberbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student’s free speech right. They also, often lose.

However, schools can be very effective brokers in working with the parents to stop and remedy cyberbullying situations. In one instance in Arkansas, as reported in the New York Times, a group of kids had created a Facebook site called, “Everybody Who Hates Billy Wolfe.” The Wolfes took the matter to the school district and the principal contacted all the student’s parents who were involved. The parents were shocked to learn their children were involved, and took measures to have the site taken down.

Prevent cyberbullying in your community

Create a way for kids to anonymously report cyberbullying. If given an anonymous method of reporting cyberbullying Web sites, profiles and campaigns, kids can help put an end to cyberbullying entirely. School administration, community groups and even school policing staff can receive these anonymous tips and take action quickly when necessary to shut down the site, profile or stop the cyberbullying itself.

Spread the word in your community about cyberbullying and its seriousness. The more Boy and Girl Scout troops, church groups, youth groups, sports clubs, and other organizations are aware of cyberbullying, the more they can educate kids on it, prevent it, and recognize it.

How many kids are being bullied and cyberbullied?

From a recent study on the effects of media and children ages 11 to 16:

37% of kids ages 11 to 16 saying they’ve been bullied at school

11% have been bullied online

10% “in the community (on the way to and from school)

6% have been bullied by cellphone

63% are not bullied anywhere

17% report being bullied in one environment

9% in two environments

5% in three

2% in four

A very concerning 3% report being bullied in all five environments assessed (school, Internet, cellphone, community, and “other”)

Twenty-nine states, including Connecticut and New Jersey, have enacted legislation against bullying, intimidation or harassment and 11 others are in the process, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

By Alex A. Lluch

www.weddingsolutions.com

www.wspublishinggroup.com

When teens perceive a situation as dangerous, difficult, or painful and they don’t know how to effectively cope with it, most of them will experience more stress. Here are some sources of teenage stress:

* crammed schedules, not enough time to rest & relax, always on the go * school demands and frustrations * negative thoughts and feelings about themselves * changes in their bodies * problems with friends and/or peers at school * unsafe living environment/neighborhood * being bullied or exposed to violence or injury * separation or divorce of parents * chronic illness or severe problems in the family * death of a loved one * moving or changing schools * ongoing problems with schoolwork, learning disabilities or other problems * family financial problems

And because most don’t know how to cope, teenage stress can easily become overwhelming. At this point the stress leads to anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, physical illness, or possibly drug and/or alcohol use.

Therefore it’s vitally important for parents to help their teens. Watch to see if stress is affecting their health, behavior, thoughts or feelings. Although this may be very challenging at times, listen carefully to them and watch for overloading. Learn plenty of stress management skills and be a model for your teens to emulate.

What can the young adults do themselves to reduce teenage stress? Plenty. Again, be the great example and help them to exercise and eat regularly. They ought to avoid excess caffeine because it can increase feelings of anxiety and agitation. Of course, avoid illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Help them learn relaxation exercises and learn practical coping skills (e.g., break a large task into smaller ones). Decrease the negative self-talk. Every task - regardless of how minor - doesn’t have to be perfect. Often “good enough” is just great. And if they’re already very busy, help them say “no” to helping decorate for the prom, or maybe going out with friends another night because they’re really too tired.

Help for teenage stress might also come in the form of friends. If your teenager has a hard time making friends then begin looking at outside activities such as youth camps and neighborhood sports events. Find a place for them to volunteer a few hours of their time or get them involved in an artistic or musical venture. Help them create a support group so they will never feel alone.

Have them make a list of everything that causes them stress. Ask them to think about friends, family, school and other activities. Guide them to accept what they can’t control on the list.

Here are some signs your teen may be stressed out:

* Headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping * Feeling depressed, edgy, guilty, tired * Blaming other people for the bad things that happen to them * Laughing or crying for no reason * They don’t seem to enjoy things they used to, these things are no long fun or seem a burden * Only see the down side of a situation * Resent other people or their own responsibilities

A true danger sign is when your teen says, “I’ve tried dealing with my stress, but I just feel like giving up.” When stress really becomes too much for them to deal with, it leads to dreadful feelings and they may even think about suicide.

Teens may be young adults, but they still need guidance. They really shouldn’t have to deal with stress levels that are equal to those in adult life. And with our evolving society kids are growing up faster, they’re exposed to more stressful situations (even the news regional, national and international news creates stress), and deserve to be taught how to manage the stress.

Teenage stress is serious and must be dealt with correctly. Their physical and mental health is negatively affected by stress and this can follow them into adult-hood. Evidence shows stress, anxiety, and depression patterns established young continue on through adult-hood and continue to get worse over time. Let’s do what we can to help them today.

About the Author

Get stress relief ideas & attacking anxiety and depression info at http://www.StressAndDepressionAnswers.com plus many stress, anxiety and depression topics.

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One of my long time best friends called me the other night with a horrible pain in her heart. She needed someone to talk to. Rumor had it her daughter might be suicidal and she was trapped on a business trip until the next evening. Her husband was home handling the situation, but she wasn’t going to be okay until she could hold her daughter close. She needed to look deep into her daughter’s eyes to get a ‘read’ on what was really going on inside her mind. Until she could really sit down and talk to her daughter, she could at least pick my brain as to what to do. We talked a bit about when we were seventeen, and I tried to commit suicide. Now, all these years later, what could I say to my friend or to her daughter to make it all better?

I grew up in a very dysfunctional home and had no reason to believe that I was loved or had any sort of an emotional support system. That’s not what threw me over the edge although looking back I think it set the stage by insuring a very low self esteem when entering high school. I wanted to die because I was in love with two boys who were best friends and I knew I’d never be able to choose between them. It was more than I could bear. I wanted to escape the pain of dating one and longing for the other. Both were amazing wonderful souls.

I had met one when we were fifteen and we’d fallen instantly into a wonderful relationship. He was my first true love. He was struggling with his mother’s new husband and became very distant and moody. In my insecurity, I assumed he wasn’t interested in me anymore. To test my theory, I scribbled out a heart he’d drawn on his notebook with our names in it. He took it to mean that I was dumping him and seemed at peace with the idea. I was too hurt and insecure to admit that I was just testing him and didn’t really want to break up. He was too hurt and insecure to stop me. Neither of us knew how to speak openly from our hearts. He occasionally asked me out on dates after that. I would think we were about to get back together and then he’d be gone again. He had moved to a nearby town to live with his dad and stepmother. He gave me the telephone number of his best friend to call if I ever needed to reach him.

One night after a year of him dropping in and out of my life and stealing my heart every time, I finally called his friend to find out when he’d be back in town and more importantly, would he ever get back together with me? According to his best friend, the love of my life thought I was a slut even though I was still a virgin and he had no intentions of getting back together with me. However, his best friend was there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. The best friend was every bit as wonderful and amazing as the first, but in his own unique different ways. We really loved each other. We were sixteen and planning to get married when we turned twenty.

Since they were best friends, my ex would drop in on us to visit and hang out. It was extremely difficult for me to see him during those visits. My head said I should hate him, but my heart still danced a jig every time he walked in the room. My ex and I ended up having a long talk one night. He confessed that he really did say that I was a slut, but that he regretted it and never really felt that way about me. It was just stupid sixteen-year-old boy emotions tied up with our past together He thought I was better off dating his best friend and gave his blessing. It killed me. I was still in love with him and he was telling me to stay with his best friend. His best friend was the sweetest kindest boy I’d ever dated. Neither of us would ever dream of hurting such a beautiful soul. I couldn’t tell either of them that I was in love with both and for months I slowly went insane unable to speak openly with either, terrified they’d both reject me.

Eventually, I snapped and couldn’t bear the pain of wanting one and the guilt of never wanting to hurt the other. I suspect that it’s some kind of a primitive fight or flight mechanism that gets triggered when we become bombarded by negative emotions. When we feel that the situation is hopeless and we have no way of changing the dynamic, then we can’t fight it. So, we need to flee and suicide is the ultimate form of taking flight. It’s really hard during that time to stop and logically realize that emotions are ever changing and as such they don’t have to be fought nor avoided. You just have to wait them out and make positive choices and changes to promote the shift in dynamics that are creating the overwhelming emotions we want to run from. At seventeen, I couldn’t see that.

I also think that if a teenager doesn’t believe that anyone will cry for them when they’re gone, then suicide becomes a very real consideration. Years later when I had two toddlers and my life was a mess, I found myself wanting to escape from life’s pain again. It was completely different that time. I knew that my two children would be heart broken and psychologically screwed up for life if I committed suicide. As a single mom, I was their only sense of security. I was their whole world. I could get depressed enough to want to run away from my problems, but I could never seriously consider suicide like I had in high school. Someone needed me and would be destroyed if I left. Perhaps that’s where the answer to teen suicide lies. Does the teenager believe that someone else’s life will become unbearable if they die?

Almost two years ago, my son came to me in tears and told me that he was suicidal. The idea of life without my child was, more than I could bear. I knew first hand what it feels like to be in so much pain that you just want to die. To imagine my own child feeling that way was worse than anything I’ve ever endured. We talked a long time about the things that had destroyed his will to live. We talked a lot about the ‘feeling’ of being suicidal. We talked mostly about how it’s bad enough to have someone you love die unexpectedly in a car wreck or from Cancer or something. It’s an entirely different thing to lose them because they chose to leave. I told him to imagine how he would feel if I committed suicide. The pain he felt just imagining it brought him close to tears. He said he couldn’t bear it if I did that to him. I told him with tears in my own eyes that I felt the same way. My daughter joined in and in tears she put aside all of their sibling rivalries and poured out her heart regarding how incredibly painful it would be for her if he ever died. We were very close in those next few weeks as we worked together to make a lot of changes in his world and in his outlook. He’s doing wonderfully now. He is very happy in a new school, with a girlfriend that is the love of his life, and he’s found his old zest for life’s adventures again.

So, I guess my advice is this…. Tell her what her death would mean to you. Does she really know in her heart of hearts how much you love her? Don’t assume anything. Yeah, you have to take her in to some kind of a therapist. But, whatever you do, don’t make her feel like some kind of a screwed up nut. And don’t ignore this. Even if she’s just talking about suicide to get attention, find out why. She may be testing the waters, looking to see if anyone would even care. There’s nothing more depressing than finding out that nobody would care if you dropped dead tomorrow. Find a way to make her see that emotions are temporary and that together you can fix anything that life throws at you. Does she know you’re in her corner? Help her change her life. Find out what it is she’s struggling with and coach her, guide her, help her to create ppositive changes. Teach her how to overcome the pain rather than to succumb to it.

About the author:

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.

I wonder do they see the pain within her soul

Do they see the broken heart of the child 

I wonder do they see the hate and rage that she hides

Do they see the sadness in her eyes

I wonder do they see the hurt and the fear

The anger and the hate

I wonder do they see her longing to be held

Do they see her fight back the tears that she so desperately wants to cry

I wonder do they see the cuts and scrapes

Do they see her wanting a real home a place to call her own

I wonder do they see do they really

When children are 2, they get angry and they lay on the floor and kick and scream. While we don’t particularly like these tantrums, as parents we all share stories of the tantrums our children throw.

As adults we too get angry. Some of us go take a walk. Some of us find journaling helpful. Some of us yell at the person closest to us, later feeling badly and needing to apologize. Some of us engage in activities that are self harming such as over eating, drinking and worse.

Teens get angry too. I’ve had moms actually say to me, “I can’t believe he/she is so angry over “that”. “That” of course refers to something that mom does not believe the teen should be angry about. I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen adults throw temper tantrums in what I think are the oddest of places. I’ve seen adults scream at retail employees. I’ve seen adults literally throw food in a restaurant. I’ve read about adults shooting guns at someone on a freeway. For me, these are not things that would push my buttons, but the reality is, we all get angry over different things. We all have different buttons that get pushed by various activities and we all have a different perspective on what’s just happened.

Teens are no different. I’ve seen my own kids get angry over unfairness in a classroom, over a friend saying or doing something they didn’t like, and yes, they even get angry at me and the decisions I make. Anger is ok. It’s how we handle the anger that makes us who we are, and as parents, we do have the right to tell our kids that certain behaviors when angry are not ok.

For example, it is not ok to slam doors, ever. I don’t care how angry you are, do not slam a door in my house. It is also never ok to hit another person. It does not matter how angry you are at that other person, you may never hit them. If you are feeling angry, take a walk, go swimming, hit a baseball, throw a basketball, kick a soccer ball. Work out the anger in a way that is not hurtful to another person or to yourself.

Both of my kids refuse to talk to me when they are angry. This is ok. I know that when they calm down and when the anger passes, they will come and tell me what had them so upset. Sometimes that might be the next day, or sometimes it might be the next week. It’s only when the anger is gone that you begin to see choices to solve whatever it is that brought on the anger in the first place. Anger can help lead you to decisions. Anger can help lead you to change.

Teenagers need to be allowed to feel anger. It helps them grow. It helps them learn how to have control. It’s hard to not yell or slam or a door. Having that control leads to increased self confidence in their own abilities. Being allowed to feel anger also helps teens learn to problem solve. This is something they will use forever. It’s a wonderful skill to learn.

Next time your teen is angry, smile and make a few suggestions on how to get rid of some of the steam, but do let them know that it’s quite ok to feel that way.

Audrey Okaneko is mom to two girls. She can be reached at audreyoka@cox.net or visited at www.recipe-barn.com

Lately, several parents asked: “Where is my teen’s anger coming from?” Teenagers, like adults, experience stress every day. The stubborn and argumentative teen is fighting for independence and less control by his or her parents. An angry teen is battling with daily difficulties and is trying to make sense of emotional issues, such as:

changes in their bodies
trying to establish an identity
dealing with friends
positive and negative peer pressure
school demands
separation or divorce of parents
being accused of something they did not do
being treated unfairly
not getting a chance to voice their opinion
chronic illness or death of a loved one
taking on too many activities
parents’ high expectations

It’s no surprise that our teens might become overloaded with stress. Teenagers have poor coping skills, and getting angry is the only way they know how to avoid feeling sad, hurt, or afraid.

Teens also have unreasonable expectations, especially if they are used to getting what they want when they want it. If this does not happen, or they realize that things are not always within their control - they get angry.

Their anger can take many forms - some teens might repress their anger and withdraw, while others get defiant, destructive or turn to alcohol and drugs.

Various situations can bring out feelings of anger. Parents are often caught by surprise and react by either yelling or arguing back, or punishing their teen for showing their anger.

Instead, parents need to see this show of anger or rage as a signal that their teen is battling with or facing a situation they cannot handle on their own, or is overwhelmed by the demands of his or her daily live.

Fortunately parents have many options to help their teens through their frustration and cope with everyday pressure:

Ask your teen what unresolved conflict he or she is facing
Listen to your teen
Focus on his or her feelings
Understand the situation from your teen’s perspective
Help your teen work towards a solution
Show your teenager that you care

Unresolved issues can escalate to physical violence, addictions, and psychosomatic disorders. This can devastate your teens life by destroying relationships, clouding effective thinking, and ruining his or her future. Seek professional help for your teen, yourself, and or your family if necessary.

Christina Botto, author of [http://www.parentingateenager.net/parentinghandbook.html]Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works and [http://www.parentingateenager.net/fittingthepieces.html]Fitting The Pieces has been involved with helping parents and their teens resolve complicated issues for more than 16 years. She also owns [http://www.parentingateenager.net]Parenting A Teenager - a site that offers a variety of tools and resources to help parents understand their teens.

Article Source: Christina Botto  

 Many people have suffered through painful past experiences of physical or mental abuse, failure, or cruelty by others.  They are held prisoner by these events, allowing the past to chip away at their minds and bodies.  Limited by their personal conflicts, they are blind to the great possibilities of their own lives.

Sandy Brewer, therapist and humanitarian says, “Although I came from a cruel background, the fact that I became a woman that ended up happy, fulfilled, and successful with a wonderful relationship and in great relationships with my kids is like the miracle of life.  It has been an interesting and powerful journey and I wanted to share that promise with others.”

Sandy lived through childhood with abusive parents, nearly dying more than once.  She was repeatedly tormented, traumatized, and treated cruelly by both parents.  From the depths of resentment, guilt, and hopelessness, she climbed to a life of wisdom, love, and fulfillment.  She believes all people struggling with depression, enslaved in the past will benefit from the proactive steps she has to offer.

The first step is to realize that you are no longer a victim.  Make a choice to change the way you think about yourself and do not be intimidated by the world around you.  Look at all the hurt you have experienced right in the eye and make the proactive choice to walk away from the guilt and resentment that weighs on you.  Take charge of what you are thinking, take responsibility for what is happening and love yourself through it all. 

Sometimes the emotional trauma may be so overwhelming that depression takes over the body and the spirit, draining the energy right out of you.  Do not despair.  There are simple steps to help lift you out of the dark, hopeless times and help you see more clearly.

Be aware that emotions cause chemical reactions in the body.  Feelings of hopelessness, heaviness of heart, or negativity feed the chemical imbalances in the brain causing even deeper depression.  Depression does not have to be permanent.  The secret is to get positive thinking to reverse the chemical imbalance causing depression.

Use empowering techniques to offset depression:
-  Moving the body is an essential technique of dealing with depression.  It is also one of the most difficult because the last thing you want to do when you are depressed is get up and do anything.  Realize that overcoming the lethargy will ultimately bring you back to the person you want to be.
-Put as much up-lifting and positive thinking into your life as you can.  Read a sentence that offers you hope, take a deep breath of fresh air, associate with people who are positive, listen to inspirational tapes, and read books that help you realize your potential. 
-Music is another helpful method to alter the chemical imbalance.  Put on some music, move the body and dance if you can.  This will help shift the negative atmosphere surrounding you to a more positive environment.
-Talk to a friend in a proactive way.  Don’t call them just to complain about your circumstances because if they agree with you, it only allows you to fall further into the dark places that are burdening you.  Associating with positive people will bring you into the light of hope. 

What you feel about yourself makes a big difference.  If you are depressed and can push yourself to find one thought each day that makes you happy, then you have the right to be proud of yourself because it was one of the hardest things you have ever done.  This one triumph will lead you to repair your injured spirit, giving you the praise, support, and recognition you deserve.

The next step to true peace and hope is forgiveness.  This is the hardest step of all.  Instead of dwelling on the pain inflicted upon you by others, realize that they have no power over you now.  You are the master of your own life.  Come to peace knowing they can no longer influence your life.  You have control of your own thoughts and feelings.  Forgiving will help you grow beyond your past, leading to a path of recovery and fulfillment.

Dr. Proactive, Randy Gilbert enjoys producing the “Inside Success Show”.   He presents his insightful interview with Sandy Brewer (PursuitOfLight.com) based upon the techniques from her book. You can hear the entire inspirational interview for free by going to:  http://www.insidesuccessradio.com/Guests/Sandy-Brewer

Last night my son came out of his room crying hystericaly.  I asked him whats wrong, he choked out,
I wrapped my blanket around my neck and pulled really hard” - I’m really scared - my son wants to die and I can’t fix it.  I can’t chase his demons away.  I talk to him and hug him and kiss him, let him know how much he is loved every day.  But, he has this pain inside him that won’t go away.  Normal every day challenges affect him differently.  He takes little hurts and holds them inside until they are a festering wound that is hard to heal.  So at 9 years old he’s going to therapy to try to help him discover a way to get through a day without saying “I hate myself, I want to die.”

Why are our kids in so much pain?  Since my sons problems began last year, I have been researching kids, suicide, depression - It’s terrifying reading some of the teen sites on the internet, so many kids in so much pain.  I wonder if this problem is bigger now than it has ever been.  Here are some “sad teen poems” I found online - I wonder if their parents know, are these kids getting help?  All of these poems come from this website, Poetry America

A Cut

By Tara M. Mccardy

There is a lot of violence,
As i sit and suffer in silence.
One cut leads to many more,
And soon my skin becomes all torn.
I watch my blood drip-
Then I put my hand to my lip,
Just to make sure I don’t scream-
Wondering if this is all just a dream.
But I realize it’s not,
As this battle inside is fought.
This pain is so real,
And as sad as I feel,
I wish my heart would just heal.
But it won’t…
Just too many damn times it’s been broke.
So the consequence is this,
And that is…
The cut of my wrist.

Suicide

By Renee L. Bacon

Life is never good for me and this is what I wish you’d see.
Just let me end it all for I’ll be happy in the end, I’ll finally be free.

Free from all the pain and torment and the never ending battle.
No more dealing with the arguments and tears, I’d finally be through with it all.

You just don’t seem to understand that by keeping me here your making it worse.
If I were dead and gone by now I’d be happy, I wouldn’t have this life, I wouldn’t have the curse.

I’m already considering doing this even without your consent.
I know for sure that once its all over with my heart will finally be content.

So here I am just sitting there, on my bed with a knife to my wrist.
Please everyone don’t be upset, please don’t be pissed.

You just need to know I love you all but couldn’t handle it anymore.
Ok here I go, I’m doing this for sure.

You just need to let me go to heaven now, hopefully God will understand and accept this.
Just tell my baby I love him and I’m sorry I couldn’t give him one last kiss.

Tell everyone I love them and that I’m sorry I had to go so soon and leave them all behind.
But I just needed to end it all and start a new life so happiness I could find.

These are the last words I’ll ever be writing down.
I know they are harsh but don’t worry, rest your head, be at ease, don’t make a sound.

Know that I love you and always have but I need to think of me right now and so I said goodbye.
Be happy without me and know that I’m somewhere good, somewhere up high.

I just hope your not crying, I want you to know everything will be ok.
I’ll be watching over you and listening to what you have to say.

Just have patience, wait till the day, and I’ll see you up here in heaven and we can be together.
Except this time things will be better and you’ll see me happy, always and forever.

So stop your weeping and know this was the best thing for me
It was my time to go, your time to set me free.

Suicide

By Pam Kizior

SUICIDE

This thought comes almost everyday,
We have become close friends as we were one in the same.
Then soon enough it will be the end I cry almost every minute
So much pain, so much hurt
My feelings and memories are like a hurricane.
I’m alone, scared during this storm and as the tears run down my face .
Seems like there is no way in stopping the intolerable emotions, pain, and frustration that the world puts upon my shoulders.
I hear no birds singing their joyful songs or the laughter of young children being able to enjoy life without a care.
It just seems like death has been and will be around me anyway.
So no matter what you try say,
Suicide is the only way out for me.
It’s been way to long since someone has held me tight and said that they love me and that they need me.
It’s been to long since I have had someone to protect me,
But you have never been able to see
In reality what has been happening inside of me.
You may ask and look concerned wanting to know why I cry,
But do you really want to that I wish for me to die?
Can you handle the truth,
Can you handle the pain I have felt and dealt with by myself for many years?
When I see myself in the mirror,
I can’t see the joy I once felt.
That joy has been taken away since I can remember
I just turn my head as quick as possible for I do not want see what I’m actually trying to hide.
Suicide?
The quickest way to solve my problems once I’m gone
But will they really be solved or will they become a burden to those I still love but don’t love me?
Time is the only one who can really tell us.
In the end will you miss me after I have cried my last tears?

Depression is a common response to health problems and is an often “underdiagnosed” problem in the patient population. People may become depressed because of injury or illness; may be suffering from an earlier loss that is compounded by a new health problem; or they may seek health care for somatic complaints that are bodily manifestations of depression.

Clinical depression is differentiated from daily emotions or sentiments of sadness by its gravity and extent. Most people occasionally feel down or depressed, but these feelings are short-lived and do not result in impaired functioning.

Clinically depressed people usually have had signs of a depressed mood or a decreased interest in pleasurable activities for at least a 2-week period.

An evident impairment in occupational, social, and total daily functioning occurs in some people. Others function appropriately in their interactions with the outside world by exerting great effort and forcing themselves to mask their distress.

Sometimes, they are successful at concealing their depression for months or years and astonish family members and others when they finally succumb to the problem.

Many people experience clinical depression but seek treatment for somatic complaints. The leading somatic complaints of patients struggling with depression are backache, headache, fatigue, abdominal pain, anxiety, malaise, and reduced desire or problems with sexual functioning.

These sensations are frequently manifestations of depressions. The depression is undiagnosed about half of the time and masquerades as physical health problems.

People with depression also exhibit poor functioning and high rates of absenteeism from work and school.

Specific symptoms of clinical depression are:

1. Feelings of sadness

2. Fatigue

3. Feelings of worthlessness

4. Guilt

5. Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

Changes in appetite, sleep disturbance, weight gain or loss, and psychomotor retardation or disturbance are also common. Often, patients have recurrent thoughts about death or suicide, or have made suicide attempts.

A diagnosis of clinical depression is made when a person presents with at least five of nine diagnostic criteria for depression. One of the first two symptoms present most of the time.

1. Depressed mood

2. Loss of pleasure or interest

3. Weight gain or loss

4. Sleeping difficulties

5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation

6. Fatigue

7. Feeling worthless

8. Inability to concentrate

9. Thoughts of suicide or death

Unfortunately, only one of three depressed people is properly diagnosed and appropriately treated.

In the United States, about 15% of severely depressed people commit suicide, and two-thirds of patients who have committed suicide had been sent by health care practitioners during the month before their death.

When patients make statements that are self-deprecating, convinced that things are hopeless and will not improve, and express feelings of failure, they may be at risk for suicide. Risk factors for suicide include the following:

1. Gender

Women make more attempts. Men are more successful.

2. Family history of suicide

Statistical reports show that nearly 80% of people who have committed suicide have family history of suicide.

3. Dysfunctional family

Family members have experienced cumulative multiple losses and posses limited coping skills.

4. Substance abuse

A person who abuses substances has an inability to make healthy decisions and to solve problems effectively.

5. Severe anxiety

Research studies indicate a reduction in distress when anxiety and depression are treated with psycho-educational programs, the establishment of support systems, and counseling.

Explaining to patients that clinical depression is a medical illness and not a sign of personal weakness, and that effective treatment will allow them to feel better and stay emotionally healthy, is an important aspect of care.

Did you know 16% of the world’s population suffer from depression?

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Matt_O'Connor]Matt O’Connor

 Author Matthew OConnor runs a site dedicated to the latest news and developments in [http://www.helpmydepression.info/Clinical_Depression.html] clinical depression

When most think of depression, they think about a family member with depression or someone that they know of who is suspected of being depressed in school or the workplace, but few will think about what to do with a depressed friend. What can one do for their friend who appears to be suffering from depression? Many will be unsure of what to do for their friend. Some will try and ignore the problem and think that it will just go away; others will distance themselves from that person so that they don’t have to deal with it. What doesn’t seem to cross the minds of most is that getting their friend into counseling would have been the best idea and the best thing they could have done as a true friend.

Few, whether they are young or old, seem to take depression seriously. Most will dismiss it as whining or a weakness that the person has, but depression is neither of these things. Depression is a mental illness that needs to be dealt with properly, or the person could continue to fall deeper into depression until they are completely lost and left in the dark. A common excuse for people to ignore the problem or to distance themselves from their friend is that they can’t help them, but there are things that friends can do. They can not treat the person themselves, but there are things that they can do that can help encourage their friend to get the help that they need. Someone who suspects that their friend might be suffering depression should learn what they can about depression, perhaps even go so far as to ask questions of a counselor online. Finding out what some of the signs of depression are can also help one to figure out if their friend may actually be depressed. Some of the signs would include a decline in socializing, lack of enthusiasm, loss of interest in activities that would normally be of interest to them, increased procrastination, inability to concentrate and a lack of concern for time. These are only a few of the many signs that could indicate that a person may be depressed. If a few of these are seen in the friend, then the person should show their support and talk to their friend.

Sometimes, a person could really use a friend to talk to and having an understanding friend that is willing to listen can go a long way to making them feel better, but the ultimate goal should be to encourage them to seek help from a counselor. This is not always an easy task, especially if the friend is worried about what other would think of them if someone found out that they were going to counseling. One could suggest online counseling, which is becoming a popular way for people to get the help they need for their depression. They could easily get in touch with an online counselor from their home and from there get the counseling that they need. The counselor will work with the person to find out what is making them depressed, and then help the person to learn how to deal with their depression so that they can find their way out of it.

Jennifer Baxt is the owner of CompleteCounselingSolutions.com which offers a variety of online counseling services. If you would like to know more about Jennifer or any of our online therapists, visit our website.

Depression is a disorder that does not get nearly enough attention. Depressed people are often told to “cheer up” or to “look at the bright side” of things, and may spiral even deeper when they are unable to simply snap out of the mood that has such a hold on them. While depression can often lead to fatigue and listlessness, it has a close cousin by the name of anxiety. Anxiety causes the opposite effect, putting our bodies into the “fight or flight” mode that protected us in the wild.

Anxiety attacks can feel like heart attacks, and even at more moderate levels, anxiety can have a dangerous and very negative effect on our lives and on our quality of living. Anxiety can also lead into depression, when a sense of worry and fear for the future leads into the sense of helplessness and hopelessness. That is a classic symptom of depression. Depression and anxiety are often seen together, and can sometimes lead into one another.

Anxiety is a way of describing a certain way of feeling. It may represent a sense of fear, dread, or a sense that you are in immediate danger, even when you are safe and have no reason to feel this way. There are several different kinds of anxiety disorders, including phobias or irrational fears, situational anxiety, panic disorders, generalized anxiety disorders, obsessive compulsive disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorders among others.

These disorders can lead to a state of almost constant high stress, and can affect your daily life much to the worse. You may be unable to function in certain situations, or you may come to fear leaving your own home, and if untreated, the symptoms of anxiety disorders can lead to many of the same problems as depression, including insomnia or a reluctance or fear to leave the house or to be around other people.

Symptoms of Anxiety and DepressionAnxiety symptoms can also feel like heart attacks, with palpitations, shortness of breath, chest pains, and more. You might begin trembling and shaking, your mouth might go dry, and you might become dizzy from the stress of the situation. The body becomes “hyped up” by your reaction to the situation, and your senses go into a sort of overdrive that is unlike the depression of the system that happens when you suffer from clinical depression.

Depression disorder actually slows the body in some ways, making you feel sluggish rather than ready to run or fight, and hopeless rather than actively panicked or fearful. If you have been suffering from anxiety attacks, the attacks themselves may lead into depression because of the hopelessness that you feel at the hands of the attacks and because of the fears that are associated with possibly having another attack.

If your anxiety symptoms have changed to include listlessness, a disinterest in things that used to engage you, or feelings of hopelessness and self-loathing, then you may now be suffering from depression disorder, and should be treated accordingly for your medical condition.

Depression is not a constant state of being, nor is anxiety. You might think that because you have a good number of “good days” that your depressive days are just bad moments that will pass, however depression can become worse over time if it is not treated and taken care of, and can lead to suicide if left untreated long enough.

Anxiety and Depression Treatments

Anxiety can worsen over time as well if it is not handled properly. There are ways to help with anxiety even without medication. Therapies are different depending on the type of anxiety that affects you and on the level of anxiety that you suffer. For a phobia, you might be exposed at increasing levels to the thing that you are afraid of. Other therapies might require talking your problems out, and others might just provide techniques to help you ride out your panic attacks and get on with life without letting them affect you more than necessary.

Depression treatments are also varied, mostly depending on your own personal preference. Medication can provide you with an effective way of dealing with depression; however medication is not for everyone. If you are not interested in medication, then you might consider other kinds of therapies with a psychologist who has experience working with depression.

Depression and anxiety are related disorders that can have a huge impact on your overall health and quality of life if left untreated. However, both are manageable conditions that do not have to have an effect on your daily life.

About Author:
Stephanie Larkin is a freelance writer who writes about mental health topics including Community Support Services | Depression Anxiety Treatment

One night I walkednto my bathroom, opened a bottle of Fiorecet and took every single pill in the bottle, there were 60.  I walked into my bedroom, kissed my 1 year old while he was sleeping then lied down in my bed and waited.   The next thing I know I was waking up in the ICU - when I opened my eyes there was a priest standing over me, giving me my last rites.  My parents and husband were standing at the end of the bed crying.

Why?  Why?  This is the question everyone wants answered.  What answer could I give?  Why does someone try to kill themselves?  How could I possible expain that I hurt so bad inside that I just wanted to stop the pain.  I hated myself so much that I thought I was doing the right thing.  I didn’t want my son to be raised by someone like me.  I didn’t want to be my husband through any more stress.  I didn’t want to disappoint my parents anymore.  I saw no way out - how was I going to change myself?  This was an illness inside, that no one else could see and no one else could understand.  I was isolated, alone, angry, sad.  I couldn’t stop crying. 

Why did I live through this?  I don’t know.  I have absolutely no idea.  I shouldn’t be here.  This time in my life is kind of a blur.  I recieved therapy and started taking antidepressents.  I started feeling better.  Pretty soon 1 year went by and then 2, 3, 4, 10 and I haven’t thought once of taking my life.

Could I have done anything to stop this from happening?  I really don’t think I could have.  I had completed shut myself off from everyone.  This depression came on so slowly I don’t think anyone around me realized how bad it was until it was too late.  I never told anyone that I wanted to kill myself.  I never thought about it and never planned it.  It was just an overwhelming need to stop the pain.

So how can we help someone who is depressed?  Talk to them, they need someone to listen.  Don’t get angry at them, they really aren’t in control of themselves.  Try to get them some help, they might not even realize they are depressed.  Stick by them, they really need family and friends at a time like this.

When I was growing up I fought with my parents constantly.  My mom liked to tell me that I was sweet until I turned 12.  Not once did my parents sit down and talk to me.  Not once did they ask me how I felt about something.  I would say horrible things, they would say horrible things, and then what?   NOTHING, they would just ignore it until everyone forgot about it and pretend like nothing ever happened.  I am grown now with kids of my own and I still think about the times my parents were hurtful, the nights spent in my bed, staring at the ceiling, just wishing so hard that my mom or dad would come in and say they were sorry.  They never did.  I still hold a lot of resentment today.  Those hurts have never gone away. 

There is a bright side to this for it has taught me to constantly talk to my children.  To apologize for every rash word I speak to them.  To hug and kiss them every single day and never let them sleep without knowing that I love them.  My last words to them every night after stories and teeth brushing are, “I love you guys” EVERY SINLGE NIGHT, without fail.

I wish I could get their father to do the same thing.  He was raised in a totally screwed up house.  He was physically and sexually abused by his father for much of his younger years.  After walking in on his mother in a compromising position with another man, she left him and his 3 other siblings with their father, in a strange country.  After she left he was put in boarding schools from age 12-18.  This has turned him into a man who is incapable of showing love or his feelings.  He doesn’t hug his kids and tell them he loves them.  If he upsets them or says something stupid to them he never apologizes.  He just ignores it until it goes away.  Which I know doesn’t happen it just gets stuffed. 

I keep telling him, begging him to talk to his kids.  They adore him.  They irritate him.  Last night they asked him to take them outside and play ball with them, he yelled and gave his standard, “I’m BUSY!!”  He’s always busy.  I wish I could make him step back and see what he is doing to his kids.  I think they would prefer a couple hours of play time with their dad to a new video game any day.

The reason I am posting this in Teen Suicide Talk is to hopefully make parents open their eyes and realize how important they are to their kids.  Parents need to bond with their kids.  Talk to them about how they feel and what is going on in their lives.  I think this has a direct relation to a childs sense of well-being.  When you don’t like the way they are acting is probably when they need you the most.  Don’t be to busy.  Don’t let them fo to sleep without knowing how much you love them.